Underneath It All
by Paris Marriott
Summary: Tragedy and insecurities cause Spinelli to resort to destructive behavior, but will unexpected news save her in time. (REPOSTED)
1. Finding Control

A/N: Here is the reposting of the fic I promised you, Underneath it All!! Just a warning, it deals with a lot of controversial issues and some people might be a bit OOC, and some stuff might be unlikely, but I hope you all read and enjoy this. I changed the rating to R to avoid getting it taken down again. So without further ado, I present you with Underneath it All!  
  
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Seventeen year old Ashley Spinelli stood on in front of the full length mirror in her room and sighed with disgust. According to her scale, she had gained ten pounds within the past two months and it was beginning to show. She could not believe that she had let herself go like that—usually she was physically active and healthy, but due to the stress of her personal and school life, she had ended up pigging out more than usual and in turn, she was too tired to participate in sports she once loved.  
  
She walked over to her bed and sat down on the edge of it. She closed her eyes and thought of everything that had happened within the past three months. First, her brother Joey had been arrested once again for committing a gang-related murder, her other brother Vitto had been placed in the Witness Protection Program for witnessing a plan for a terrorist attack and to top it all off, her parents had been killed during a spy mission in Europe just weeks before Christmas. Since she had no living relatives left- --her parents had both been only children and her grandparents were all dead-----she was told she would have to enter the foster care system, something Spinelli did not want to do, not only because of the horror stories she heard on the news, but also because she could not risk losing another family. In the end, she had declared herself an emancipated teenager and moved in with her best friend Gretchen Grundler, who attended a nearby college and recently purchased an apartment near campus for an easier commute. (Gretchen skipped two grades in middle school)  
  
Life had gotten very difficult for Washington High School's resident tough girl, and the fact that her body was once again changing did not help matters any. Spinelli had always been insecure about her body, ever since she began developing and changing in the fifth grade. She was teased constantly for the size of her chest at such a young age, and it caused her to hide her body in baggy clothes for several years, at least until the other girls in her class had caught up to her physically. It had taken a long time for her to become comfortable in her own skin, and now that she was gaining weight, all the insecurity she had felt in the fifth grade was coming back to her. Between her personal tragedies and her body once again going through unexplainable changes, she felt as if she had no control over anything in her life. She once again stood up and stared at her bra and panty clad body in the mirror, examining the fat that now lay on her hips and rear end.  
  
"Maybe I can't control what happens to me in my personal life, but I sure as hell can control what I eat and make sure I lose this weight and keep it off," she told herself, coming to a decision. It was now March, and she had three months to lose any unwanted weight before the big end of the year events, such as senior prom and graduation were to take place, and keep it off. "It all begins today," Spinelli told herself as she walked over to her closet and took out the baggiest outfit she could find. Once she was dressed and washed up, she headed downstairs to leave for school.  
  
"Hey Spinelli," Gretchen greeted her with a smile. "And how are you this morning?"  
  
"Hey, Gretchen, I'm doing good, how about you?" Spinelli asked, as she pulled a bottle of water out of the refrigerator.  
  
"Aren't you going to eat anything?" Gretchen asked her as she noticed Spinelli putting on her jacket.  
  
"Um, nah, I'm really not hungry today," Spinelli lied, hoping that Gretchen wouldn't press the issue. The last thing Spinelli needed was a lecture from her genius friend about dieting and the dangers of not eating. "It's not like I'm gonna become anorexic," Spinelli thought to herself. "I am only trying to lose some weight, people do it all the time!"  
  
"Um, Spinelli?" Spinelli snapped out of her thoughts and noticed Gretchen looking at her in concern.  
  
"Oh, sorry, girl, I zoned, what were you saying?" Spinelli asked her.  
  
"I said I have a late class tonight, do you want to order in when I come back, or do you want to fend for yourself tonight? "  
  
"Um, I'll make something, don't worry," Spinelli said quickly, looking at her watch. "Look I got to go to school. See you tonight!" Spinelli waved as she ran out the door and to her car. "Two meals taken care of, now if I can only get through lunch without TJ questioning me," she thought as she pulled out of the driveway.  
  
A/N: wow, Spinelli sure suffered a lot hasn't she? And that is only the beginning! This was basically an introduction to explain why Spinelli resorts to what she does, and how it will affect her later on in the fic. Wait til you see what else she goes through----will her friends be able to save her before she ends up hurting herself even more? Find out in chapter two of this story. Please r/r, but if you can't say something nice, don't say it at all, happy reading! 


	2. The Lies Begin

A/N: chapter 2 is here!!! and thank you all for so many great reviews!! ::does the infamous psychotic happy dance:: so yeah, some nice notes for my reviewers!  
  
LilVickiRyan: Yes I am, hope you keep reading!  
  
Depressed Sweden-Lover: Thank you and I am happy you like it---and I hope you keep reading  
  
LockDown: I can only do it one chapter at a time because of the little time I have and I want to see if I get as many reviews as I did last time...hope you still read anyway  
  
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That day at lunch, Spinelli sat at her usual table with TJ, Gus, Vince and Mikey, who were discussing their plans for the weekend. She was only half listening, though, for her mind was on other things.  
  
"So, yeah, Spinelli, are you looking forward to going to the Senor Fusion Anniversary Convention? I mean, this is the thirty year anniversary of the comic, and the creator might even be making an appearance! Isn't it exciting?" TJ asked her with a smile. Spinelli acted as if she hadn't even heard him, sipping her water and hoping that none of the guys would notice that she wasn't eating. She closed her eyes and tried to calculate the calories she had "saved" by not eating and how much weight she lose by the end of the month if she kept up dieting. She was just figuring how long she would need to diet for when she felt TJ put his hand on her shoulder.  
  
"Spin, are you ok, you haven't said a word since we sat down. You are usually excited about Senor Fusion convention, and you are acting like we are discussing Chinese water torture with your silence. And you're not even eating the Tuna Taco Special, and that's your favorite! If you don't eat, then something must be up. Are you ok?" TJ looked at his friend in concern.  
  
Spinelli sighed. It was just like TJ to worry about her the way he did. After all, they had been best friends for as long as she could remember, and they had gone through everything from broken hearts to skinned knees together. They were each other's life line—always there when the other needed them to offer whatever love and support was necessary at the time. So of course he would notice she wasn't eating, which was why she needed to come up with a believable excuse for her behavior. She was so lost in thought that she didn't even notice TJ that TJ was shaking her until he called her name again.  
  
"Oh, sorry Teej, what were you saying?" she asked, frantically trying to remember what they had been talking about.  
  
TJ looked at her worriedly. Spinelli never acted this quiet or distracted and she sure as hell never turned down the Tuna Taco Special. He knew something was wrong, but he wasn't sure what it was and hoped that she would open up to him. "Are you sure you're ok?" he asked her again.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine, Teej," Spinelli lied, trying to ignore the hunger and nausea fighting in her stomach. "I am not hungry that's all, and I have a lot on my mind."  
  
"Well I'm here if you want to talk, you know that right?" TJ reminded her, giving her a hug. Spinelli hugged him back, hoping that he would drop the issue.  
  
"Thanks, TJ, I am lucky to have a friend like you, "she said smiling at him.  
  
"Hey Lizzie and Gordo, cut it out over there!" Vince called to them with a laugh. Spinelli and TJ broke apart, blushing and laughing at Vince's analogy.  
  
"Sorry man," TJ said quickly, releasing Spinelli from his arms. "I just worry about you sometimes," he whispered to her before completely releasing her from the hug.  
  
"I know, I really am fine," she assured him, "I am just feeling a little woozy, it must be all the junk food Gretchen and I have been eating catching up to me." She looked at her watch. "I have to go, I need to talk to Guru Kid about our lab for physics. Call me later, ok Teej, so we can all finish making plans for the weekend." She blew a kiss to the boys and walked out of the cafeteria, glad for the excuse to leave the table and avoid further questioning from TJ.  
  
TJ watched her go, wondering what was really going on with his friend. "OK, you guys," he whispered once Spinelli was out of earshot. "Was I the only one who noticed Spinelli acting a little odd today?"  
  
"She didn't feel like eating, big deal, TJ" Vince said. "I don't blame her, these tacos kind of whomp today. I'm sure she is fine, after all she said she was eating a lot of junk lately, so maybe she just has no appetite. "  
  
"Yeah, Teej, quit being so paranoid," Gus chimed in.  
  
TJ sighed. "I guess you are right, I am probably worrying too much, I guess I am just afraid she's going to hurt herself or something after everything she has been through. It is very common for someone who experiences tragedy like Spinelli did to resort to some sort of destructive behavior to try and gain control of their life."  
  
"OK Doogie Howser, she is fine, but how very sweet of you to worry about her!" Mikey assured him with a smile. (points to whoever gets the reference)  
  
"Thanks, you guys, I feel better now, I guess I needed you to assure me that she was ok. You know me, I worry too much about my friends." He got up from the table and grabbed his books. "So how about a round of basketball before class starts?" he asked, heading towards the courtyard. As the rest of the gang followed him, TJ's mind was still on Spinelli and her odd behavior. He knew how much she had suffered in the past few months and he only hoped that she would be ok and not resort to something that would cause her to hurt herself. He looked up and saw her and Guru kid talking near the science lab and smiled. Maybe he was making too much out of nothing. He only hoped that he was right.  
  
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A/N: I hope this chapter didn't suck too much---I am trying to write this and talk on the phone and watch that new Lifetime movie at the same time. Talk about multitasking!! So yeah, the story will pick up shortly, I promise!! Please r/r but remember the golden rule, if you cant say something nice, don't say it at all, happy reading!! 


	3. Weekend Fun Turned Scary

A/N: hey now, hey now, this is what dreams are made of, I have somewhere I belong, I have a new chapter to write, this is what dreams are made of!!!!! Sorry all, I am so bored and am listening to Hilary Duff, so I made that up.......so yeah, reviewer notes!!!  
  
LilVickiRyan: You and me both, even though I'll only be gone for three days! I'm glad you like this, even though you already read it---keep reading!  
  
Depressed Sweden-Lover: Isn't he just adorable? I'd give anything to have a sweet, loveable friend like that (or more specifically, boyfriend) Stay tuned to see more of how wonderful TJ is!  
  
LockDown: OK little blonde me has no clue what that all means, but I am glad you like this. It is sad we are both leaving though, but we will be back, and I can't wait to see the rest of your fic as well. Thanks for the good luck wishes on all my work, I know I'm gonna need them! Keep reading!  
  
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The weekend had finally rolled around, and the gang was headed for the Senor Fusion Convention, an event that had been a tradition since they were in the fourth grade. As much as Spinelli was looking forward to going, she was also still dieting, and it caused her to almost want to back out, just so the gang wouldn't question her eating habits. She knew TJ was a little bit suspicious, since he seemed to be watching and questioning her more than usual, but she had told him that there was nothing to worry about, assuring him that she knew what she was doing. Luckily, he seemed to accept that and let the issue drop for the time being. The rest of the gang had just accepted whatever excuses she had been giving them all week, even Gretchen, who was her roommate and saw her the most. She only hoped she would be able to keep the charade up long enough to lose the weight she wanted and not face accusations of having some sort of eating disorder. After all, she knew what she was doing, right?  
  
"So, is everybody looking forward to this convention?" TJ asked the gang as they entered the building.  
  
""Sure are!" Vince grinned as he took Gretchen's hand. The two had been dating for two years, and were happy to finally have some time to spend together, since they had opposite schedules due to Gretchen being in college and Vince still being in high school.  
  
"Oh, God, please don't tell me this is going to be another event where you two are going to be all over each other the entire time!" Gus complained as he stared at the couple in mock disgust.  
  
"Nope, just half the time, three quarters of the time at the most," Gretchen joked as she kissed Vince, making him smile like a giddy little schoolboy.  
  
"Oh, but Gus, they are in love! And how sweet it is that our friends get to share something so special with each other!" Mikey protested, smiling at the happy couple.  
  
"Yeah, but we are here for the convention, you guys, not for Tonsil Hockey 101," TJ said impatiently. As happy as he was for his friends, he couldn't help but be a little jealous, since he never had that kind of relationship with a girl before. Girls usually saw him as more of a friend, leading him to stay home most Friday nights with Spinelli, who was in a similar situation with guys. Their Friday night movie marathons caused them to become closer to each other than they were with the others, which caused TJ to worry about Spinelli's sudden strange behavior when it came to food. He had noticed that she hadn't been eating lately, but she always had an excuse about it—whether it was that she had eaten previously or that she wasn't feeling well. He only hoped that this was some sort of weird girly phase, and that she would bounce back from it soon.  
  
"OK,OK, we'll behave!" Vince surrendered, linking his arm through Gretchen's. "But seriously Teej, when you get a girlfriend, you will be acting the way Gretchen and I are."  
  
"Whatever, man, but I'm not one for PDAs," TJ said distractedly as he watched Spinelli, who was looking over some of the old Senor Fusion comics. She was acting unusually quiet and TJ noticed that she looked a bit pale.  
  
"Penny for your thoughts, Spinelli?" TJ asked, putting his arms around her from behind.  
  
"What?" Spinelli asked distractedly, looking up from the comic book she was looking at. "Oh, sorry, Teej, I just zoned a little."  
  
"Are you ok, you look a little pale and tired," TJ tried giving her a hug, but she pulled away as if she had been burned.  
  
"I'm fine, TJ, I just have had trouble sleeping lately, don't worry about me, I'm fine!" Spinelli snapped without thinking.  
  
"Sorry, you just seem a little out of it, that's all," TJ said defensively, "Excuse me for worrying about my best friend!"  
  
Spinelli turned to face him, knowing she had hurt his feelings. "Teej, look, I am sorry for snapping, I just have a lot going on and I'm a little snappy right now. I love you for caring, but I really am fine. I promise you! Forgive me?" she asked, using the cute puppy dog eyes that she knew TJ wouldn't be able to resist.  
  
"Of course, Spinelli, but it's not because of those cute puppy dog eyes you're giving me," he teased, laughing.  
  
"Damn you!" she cried in mock anger. "You caught onto my little plot!" She buried her face in her hands, pretending to cry until TJ hugged her again, a hug she this time responded to willingly. "TJ always seems to make things better," Spinelli thought, leaning on his shoulder for a moment before letting him go.  
  
As the gang walked through the convention, looking at various comic box and various action figures showing Senor Fusion throughout the years, TJ watched Spinelli, wondering if she was really telling the truth about what was going on. He had known how hard life had been for her during the past few months, and hoped that she was really ok. "But she would have told you if something was up," he told himself sternly. "You and Spinelli tell each other everything, so there is nothing to worry about," he assured himself. So why did he have the feeling something was really wrong with her?  
  
"Hey you guys, its almost one. What do you say we grab some lunch and then finish the rest of the convention?" Gus suggested, interrupting TJ's thoughts.  
  
"Sure sounds great," TJ said, hoping the lunch break would assure him that Spinelli was truly ok.  
  
"Yeah, I'm starved," Mikey proclaimed. Vince and Gretchen echoed in agreement.  
  
"Spinelli, lunch ok with you?" Gus asked, picking up on his friend's silence.  
  
"Oh, yeah, sure, whatever," Spinelli answered quickly, as her mind tried thinking of yet another excuse to not eat. She hoped that they wouldn't give her problems about it, that is, if anyone but TJ actually picked up on it. The others, with the exception of Gretchen, didn't see her as often, so they really had no reason to be suspicious, and she and Gretchen had such opposite schedules that Gretchen just assumed she ate before she got home. "Girl, stop being so paranoid!" she thought to herself as they walked towards the cafeteria on the other side of the building. Halfway there, Spinelli began to feel a little light headed and grabbed onto the table next to her to steady herself. Vince must have noticed this because he asked her if she was ok.  
  
"Just fine," Spinelli told him, but she was really not ok. Her head was spinning, and her stomach felt as if someone were running laps inside it. She closed her eyes, willing the dizziness to go away, but it was no use as she lost her balance and fell backwards into TJ and Gus's arms.  
  
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A/N: will Spinelli finally admit to her problem, or is she going to deny it and blame it on something else? Will this lead to a new problem that is even more harmful? Will the gang finally realize what Spinelli has been doing? Will TJ admit his suspicions? Will Babe ever realize that Paul kidnapped her baby and gave her Bianca's?? (points to whoever gets that) Find out next time in this exciting adventure of the Recess gang!! Please r/r, nice reviews are hugs for the soul, happy reading! I'll be back Monday with more, enjoy the holiday people! 


	4. Comics, Lies and Videotape

A/N: Hi!! Here I am writing another chapter, hoping it will take away the writers block I am feeling with my paper I am writing----GRRRRR!!!!! Anyway, here are a few author's notes before I begin!  
  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ LockDown: I wish I could post at my own pleasure, but right now I barely have time to sleep, let alone post when I want---and you caught onto my blondeness, hehe. Keep reading to see what happens!  
  
Depressed Sweden-Lover: No, but then again, it is still early on in the eating disorder. But stick around to see what happens, because it is about to get intense----dun, dun, dun!!!!!  
  
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"Whoa. What happened?" Spinelli asked, straightening up and trying to release herself from TJ and Gus's arms.  
  
"You almost fainted, are you feeling all right?" TJ asked her with concern, his strong arms still around her to make sure she wouldn't faint again.  
  
"I'm fine, are you sure I almost fainted and didn't just lose my balance or something?" Spinelli asked, trying to avoid the concerned looks from her friends.  
  
"No, Spin, you were grabbing onto the table for support and really did almost faint." Gretchen informed her. "Did you eat this morning? Maybe you are hungry or something."  
  
"Yeah, I had a couple grapes while you were in the shower," Spinelli lied, avoiding her friend's suspicious gaze.  
  
"Well, no wonder you fainted, that's not enough food to start the day!" Mikey exclaimed, shocked that his friend would skip the most important meal of the day.  
  
"You need to eat, then," TJ told her, helping her up and leading her to the cafeteria.  
  
"But, Teej, I really don't---"Spinelli protested, but it was no use as TJ shushed her.  
  
"Don't 'but Teej' me, Spinelli, you need to eat, and you are going to eat. I don't want to hear any arguments from you. Now stay here with Vince while we go get you some food." TJ and the others walked off as Spinelli tried to figure out a way to avoid eating yet again.  
  
Are you sure you're ok, Spinelli?" Vince asked her, noting his friends pale face and shaky hands. "I mean, you never faint or fall like that, but then again, maybe you're overheated or something, It's warm in here and you're in a sweatshirt and T-shirt, so maybe that caused you to get all lightheaded." Vince commented, not wanting to believe that Spinelli was actually harming herself, as TJ seemed to think she was. "Spinelli's too smart to do something that dumb" Vince told himself.  
  
"Yeah, that's it, I was overheated!" Spinelli agreed, mentally thanking Vince for giving her an excuse for her near fainting spell. "I was getting a little warm, so maybe that's it," she told him, taking off her sweatshirt and revealing a blue and white Washington High T-shirt. "Maybe that will make me feel better."  
  
"I'm sure it will." Vince smiled, glad that the mystery was solved, or so he thought. At that moment, the rest of the gang arrived with the food.  
  
"Here Spinelli," TJ said, handing her a tray with a burger, fries and a soda on it. "Your usual, and I'm gonna make sure you eat this time. No more fainting for you." TJ gave her one of his famous 'do as I say' looks, and Spinelli knew she had no choice but to eat the food TJ had given her. Sighing, she picked up the burger and began to eat, hoping TJ would get off her back about it.  
  
As they ate, the six friends discussed what they wanted to do and see at the rest of the convention.  
  
"I want to see the original Senor Fusion action figure from back in the day!" Gus said, swallowing his fries. "Supposedly it is a collectors item since it was around during the war and very rare," (A/N: do things like that exist? It sounded like something he would say)  
  
"Tender," TJ responded. "Well, I for one want to see the different variations of Senor Fusion and Femme Fatale, and how they evolved over the years. Supposedly they vary depending on who is president, depending on what the party in charge thinks is appropriate for comic heroes to look like."  
  
"Is that really true, TJ?" Vince asked him. "That sounds a bit hard to believe that Femme Fatale's bra size has to do with whether or not a Democrat or Republican is in office."  
  
"Becky said she noticed it when they did media studies in her grad school classes. She told me to check it out when I came to see for myself." TJ laughed. "I never noticed it, but maybe it is true." (one of my psycho professors said that----is it true—I have no idea, but it seemed like a funny thing to add)  
  
Gretchen laughed. "Figures you guys would be interested in the sexualization of Femme Fatale. As for me, I would like to see how they were represented in different historical times."  
  
As they continued to discuss what they wanted to see, Spinelli looked down at her empty plate, ashamed at herself for eating such fattening food. She felt like such a failure, eating all that when she was supposed to be dieting. The fact that they were sitting next to a life size cardboard cutout of the beautiful Femme Fatale didn't help matters any. If anything it made her feel even more fat and ugly, and all the more determined to lose weight. If only she could get rid of the calories TJ had forced her to consume. But how was she going to do that without anyone noticing? She thought for a moment, and then remembered the documentary she had to watch on eating disorders the year before for her health class. One of the girls interviewed had said that she had made herself throw up after she had eaten, and it allowed for her to lose weight and not have people be suspicious of her dieting. In reality, it had caused many more health problems, such as heart disease and it ruined the lining her esophagus. "But what is the harm in doing it just this once?" Spinelli thought. "It's not like I am going to become bulimic like the girl in the video, I am just throwing up once, and then going back on my regular diet. No harm done, everything will be under control," she assured herself.  
  
"Are you guys ready to look at the rest of this convention?" TJ asked, getting up to throw away the trash that was on the table.  
  
"Oh, boy, more Senor Fusion, oh, how exciting sharing this with all my closest friends!" Mikey exclaimed, jumping up from his chair. As the rest of the gang got up to follow him back into the convention. Spinelli followed them, but lagged behind, hoping to sneak to the bathroom without anyone noticing or having reason to suspect anything.  
  
"You coming, Spinelli?" Gretchen asked her, looking back at her friend.  
  
"Um, yeah, I forgot something at the table, I'll catch up in a minute," Spinelli told her, hoping that she would believe her.  
  
"Want me to go with you?" TJ asked, still worried that she would pass out again.  
  
"Um, no, that's ok, I'll be fine, Teej. You go ahead. I'll be right there."  
  
"OK, Spinelli, if you're sure." The gang walked off, and as soon as they were out of sight, Spinelli sprinted to the bathroom to throw up the food she had just consumed, the whole time trying to convince herself it would only happen this one time, and that she was really going to be ok in the end.  
  
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A/N: dun dun dun!!! So what it going to happen now? Will this be Spinelli's first and only time, or will she become accustomed to this new lifestyle? Will anyone catch on? Will she really be ok? Will Jessica Simpson ever realize Chicken of the Sea is tuna? (I'm watching Newlyweds, I had to add it, heehee!) find out next time! R/R, but if you can't say something nice, don't say it at all. Happy reading!! 


	5. CAUGHT!

A/N: here I am, writing yet another chapter for your reading pleasure, as I try to stay awake and get everything in the world that I need to do done, and recover from the asthma attack I had in kickboxing before, But writing for my reviewers always makes me feel better, so here you are with a new chapter. But first, some notes to those who reviewed.  
  
This is gonna be a short one—but it will get longer! Pinky Promise!  
  
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Depressed Sweden-Lover: Glad you like it, I hope you keep reading!  
  
LilVickiRyan: Here you go! Hope you like it!  
  
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After lunch, Spinelli walked down the hall and into the girl's bathroom, looking behind her to make sure nobody was following her. Locking herself into one of the stalls, she knelt on the floor and stuck her fingers down her throat forcing the food she had just eaten come back up again. She leaned her forehead on the porcelain seat, closing her eyes briefly. "I had to do it," she convinced herself. "As much as I love those chocolate chip cookies TJ's mom makes, I couldn't let them stay in my system. I couldn't risk any weight gain. Besides, I only do it when I absolutely have to, so all is good right?"  
  
To Spinelli, and even to her friends, things may have been fine, but in reality, they weren't. On the outside, she seemed like the same loving, yet tough girl everyone knew in loved---captain of the debate team, honors student and captain of the kickboxing team. She was well liked, pretty and the kind of girl everyone wanted to be friends with, although most guys found her too sisterly to date.  
  
However, nobody, not her closest friends or even Spinelli herself, seemed to know how much she was suffering behind closed doors. She still hadn't truly come to terms with losing her entire family within the span of three months, not to mention all the pressure of senior year, graduation and deciding on what college to go to was beginning to take a toll on her. And then there was the fact that she....oh she couldn't even think about that. "Because there was nothing wrong with me, I mean sure, I have had a lot to deal with for the past few months, but that doesn't mean I am going off the deep end or anything," she rationalized, "After all, TJ and everyone think that I lost interest in the whole dieting thing, I don't need to worry about them questioning me anymore. Plus I don't have a problem, I only throw up when I absolutely have to."  
  
Spinelli sighed as she sat on the bathroom floor. It was a month since the day of the convention, and Spinelli had been forcing herself to throw up on a consistent basis, each time promising herself it would be the last time, yet she was unable to stop, as much as she might have wanted to. She had also been going to the gym for hours on end each day, hoping to shed any extra calories that may have creeped into her body. Her friends around her noticed that she had lost some weight and complemented her on how great she looked and luckily they all assumed it was because of kickboxing and the gym.  
  
However, she still thought she was fat, especially around her middle, which seemed to be where most of her calories clung onto, and it was why she was still dieting. Spinelli opened her eyes, still feeling full from all the food she had eaten earlier. "Damn, Mrs. Detweiler, why do you have to make such good food?" she thought to herself as she once again forced the contents inside her stomach to leave her body and go into the toilet. "Come on, I can't let this weight stick to me, I just can't," she whispered, leaning her head against the wall and bursting into tears. She felt as if she was losing control, almost as if someone were trying to take over her body. "But losing control is wrong," she said aloud. "And Ashley Spinelli will not lose control, because she has all of this under control."  
  
She got up and flushed the toilet, hoping that nobody had heard her purging and mini crying spell. She walked out of the stall and to the sinks, unaware of the gaunt, ashen faced girl that stared back at her in the mirror. "You fat, ugly pig," she told herself as she rinsed her mouth out with water and attempted to fix her hair. As she was doing this, she was unaware of the presence of one of her fellow classmates until her voice was heard, causing Spinelli to nearly jump out of her skin in fright.  
  
"Spinelli, I know what's going on with you. I know your secret, just let me help you. Please," the voice pleaded. Spinelli turned around, and came face to face with................  
  
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A/N: bwahahahahaahahahahaha! Cliffie!!! Who could it be standing in the bathroom with her? Will Spinelli admit her problem? Or will she hurt herself even more? Will Monk and TJ be the next to lead the free world? (I need to add these random questions) find out and read and please leave me a review aka soul hug!. Happy reading! 


	6. An Unexpected Helping Hand

A/N: OK, here I am bringing you another chapter of this story. Hope you are all enjoying it! But  
  
first:  
  
LilVickiRyan: LOL! Are you right? Check to find out!  
  
Depressed Sweden-Lover: Thank you and stay tuned!  
  
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Spinelli spun around, coming face to face with the popular Ashley Q. Spinelli sighed. The last thing she wanted at that moment was to deal with an Ashley, especially one that seemed to be oozing with fake sympathy.  
  
"What do you want, Ashley Q?" Spinelli demanded as she fixed her runny eye makeup, glaring at her through the mirror.  
  
"I know you are making yourself sick. I heard you force yourself to throw up and tell yourself it was going to be the last time. You are slowly killing yourself, Spinelli, you have a problem, and I want to help you." Ashley Q. tried to put her hand on Spinelli's shoulder, but the tiny raven haired girl jumped back as if she had been burned.  
  
"Problem?" Spinelli growled, glaring at the red haired girl standing before her. "How dare you accuse me of having a problem? Do I look like some sort of crazy freak who would go through such extremes to lose weight? Do I even look like I want to lose weight? Why don't you go back to worrying about your looks and making your boyfriend happy and stay out of my life!" Spinelli tossed her makeup back in her bag and attempted to leave, but Ashley Q. stopped her.  
  
"Look, you might not see it now, but you do have a problem, a problem that can kill you," Ashley Q. said, sitting on the edge of a sink. "I know we aren't exactly the best of friends, but that doesn't mean I want you to get hurt or die. My cousin died from a heart problem related to anorexia and bulimia, and I don't want to see anyone else suffer the way she did."  
  
"That is very sad, and I am sorry your cousin died, but that doesn't mean I have a problem, and if you dare mention to anyone that you think I do, I will beat you up so bad, people would need a DNA test to see who the hell you are!" Spinelli threatened, clenching her fists.  
  
"OK, so if you don't have a problem, then how do you explain all the trips to the bathroom where you throw up? Don't you dare deny it, because I noticed it for the past week."  
  
"What are you, my freaking stalker or something?" Spinelli asked, looking at the other girl as if she were nuts.  
  
"Of course not, like I would waste my time stalking you," Ashley Q. said snottily, taking out her lip gloss and reapplying it. "I just happen to have been in here when you have been getting sick, and I am concerned. Excuse me for living!"  
  
"Well, it is mighty sweet to see an Ashley with concern for something other than herself, but I am not making myself sick. The truth of the matter is, I have a stomach bug and eating rancid cafeteria food every day doesn't help matters any."  
  
"So if you are so sick, why are you even in school?" Ashley Q. demanded, hoping that her constant questioning would finally get Spinelli to break.  
  
"OK, Miss Detective, if you remember, I missed a ton of school when my parents died, due to funeral services, memorial services and court appearances so I can finally have a place to live! Not to mention all the school I missed when that nasty virus was going around in September. I was told by the dean that if I miss any more school, it would jeopardize graduation, and I don't know about you, but I want to get out of this hell hole of a town as fast as possible and start a new life in college. That is why I am here, even though I am sick and barfing my brains out everyday. Case closed!" Spinelli smirked at the other girl, hoping that she would buy the excuse that she had come up with at random.  
  
"OK, Spinelli," Ashley Q. said sweetly, smiling at her. "Now that you put it that way, it all does make sense. I mean, you do want to graduate and go off to college with TJ right? You two are both going to the same school right?"  
  
"Yeah, we're both going to a state school," Spinelli answered, hoping that this meant that Ashley Q. was through with her role as Washington High Detective, and would finally leave her alone.  
  
"That's sweet, two best friends in the same school, all us Ashleys are going to Florida," Ashley Q. bragged. "But anyway, you should really see a doctor for that stomach flu then, even if you do have to go to school, you should still be on some sort of medication to get better." Ashley Q. looked at her, wondering if she would agree to follow her advice.  
  
"Nah, I'm really fine, its probably food poisoning or something, or some sort of bug. It will go away on its own eventually. Thank you for worrying though, and I really am sorry about your cousin," Spinelli said, hugging her, an action that shocked the both of them, but Ashley Q. returned the hug anyway.  
  
"You're welcome Spinelli," Ashley Q. said with a smile. "Feel better,"  
  
"Thank you, Ashley Q." Spinelli gave her one last smile before she left the bathroom to head for her next class.  
  
"I don't care what she says, I know there is a problem, her excuses were so bogus," Ashley Q. thought to herself as she stood in front of the mirror. "Now if there were only a way I could help her, before she ends up like my cousin Elisa." Ashley Q. left the bathroom and walked down the hall, hoping the person she was looking for was in school that day and not at a seminar or something.  
  
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A/N: Dude, it was Ashley Q!!!! Who saw that coming? Who is she looking for? What does she have up her sleeve? Will she use her knowledge for good, or to spread some evil gossip? Will we ever know who wrote the book of love? Find out next chapter! Please R/R, but remember the golden rule, if you can't say something nice, don't say it at all! Happy reading! 


	7. Planning an Intervention

A/N: Wow, chapter seven already! And I barely scratched the surface on this fic.......wow, time flies when you're having fun and procrastinating! Hee,hee!! So yeah, here is another chapter and some notes to my reviewers!  
  
LilVickiRyan: Must be, lol! Stay tuned!  
  
Depressed Sweden-Lover: I hope so too, keep reading!  
  
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"So you are trying to tell us that you think Spinelli has some sort of eating problem?" Gus asked later that afternoon as he and the gang sat in Kelso's with Ashley Q. She had run into Vince and told him she needed to talk to them after school because of an emergency and told them to meet her at Kelso's to discuss it. Luckily, Spinelli had kickboxing that afternoon, so they could discuss the problem without getting her suspicious.  
  
"Yes, I know she has been throwing up after lunch everyday, and I know it isn't any stomach bug or food poisoning, because the rest of us would probably have it too. I have a feeling Spinelli is bulimic." Ashley Q. leaned back in her seat uncomfortably. She wasn't used to being this nice to the group, but she knew that she had to tell them, in honor of Elisa.  
  
"Buli-what?" Mikey asked, confused.  
  
"Bulimic, it is a condition where someone, usually a young girl, makes herself sick after eating to control her weight. A lot of times it also is done to make the person feel like she is in control of her life. And considering the hell Spinelli went through this year, she is more susceptible to getting an eating disorder. She feels as if she is losing control, and that eating is the only thing she has left that she is able to have a say in." Ashley Q. sighed. "It is so sad, I saw my cousin die from this, and I don't want that to happen to Spinelli. She may not be my friend, but that doesn't mean I would wish something like this on her."  
  
"I know, Ashley Q." Gretchen told her, putting a hand on her arm. "But are you sure? I mean, I live with Spinelli and I never noticed her throw up or anything. She always says she eats when I'm in class and if we do eat together, she usually goes to exercise right after. I wonder why I never noticed this. I am such a bad friend."  
  
"No, you aren't. None of us noticed. She has us so fooled, that nobody could have picked up on it unless they noticed her throwing up on a consistent basis right after eating. Luckily Ashley Q. picked up on it, otherwise who knows what would have happened?" TJ put his head in his hands. "I have been watching my best friend kill herself, what kind of person am I?" he asked, realizing then just how much danger Spinelli might be in.  
  
"You guys, TJ, you're right, sometimes it is very difficult to pick up on. They have meals planned out and know just when to throw up so they wont make anyone suspicious. They know how to hide their problem so well that most times, people don't pick up on it until it is too late."  
  
"But are you sure there really is a problem, and this isn't some plot you Ashleys have against her to make her life even more miserable?" Vince asked, looking at the redhead warily.  
  
"At first, I believed her, thought maybe she did have a stomach flu or something, even though she was showing classic signs of denial. But then something happened that made me realize she really was hurting herself, and that I needed to get her help."  
  
"What did you notice?" TJ asked, hoping that whatever it was was wrong and that Spinelli really was ok. But in his heart he knew that Ashley Q. was right, and felt so guilty about not getting her the help she needed when he first realized she was dieting.  
  
"Well after the conversation, she hugged me, and I noticed that she is a skeleton! I ean you can count the bones in her ribcage. She was thin before, but now she is just so dangerously thin that she will kill herself if she doesn't get help."  
  
"But she doesn't look any thinner," Vince argued. "I mean, she did lose a bit of weight, but not so much where she would look sick."  
  
"Layers, Vince, she wears layers. Ever notice that she wears all those shirts? It is because she doesn't want people to realize she lost weight. Classic sign of hiding an eating problem," she informed them, remembering how Elisa would cover up so much that nobody really noticed until it was too late.  
  
"So what can we do?' Gus asked, wanting to help his friend out. "I mean, she beeds help, but how are we going to help her? The last time we discussed her weight and diet, the time she passed out at the convention, she went off on us. There is no way she is going to listen to us."  
  
"Which is why we need an intervention," Ashley Q. told them.  
  
"What good will that do? She is only going to deny it and hate us for conspiring with you," Mikey protested.  
  
"But that is a risk we need to take. Usually interventions work out for the best, we just need to plan out what to do so we can make it work."  
  
"OK, so when are we going to do this?" TJ asked, willing to do whatever it took to get Spinelli better again, even if it meant working with an Ashley. After all, his best friend's life was on the line.  
  
"OK, well we need to wait a couple of days before we do this, just so we don't get her suspicious. After all we only had this conversation today, and if we do this now, she is going to know I betrayed her by running to you guys right away."  
  
"But isn't she going to know that anyway?" Gretchen asked, not quite following.  
  
"Of course, but if we suddenly just call her to meet us here, then she will know something is up. We need to give her a few days, to let her think I think she is better, and then we can pull this off."  
  
"Pull what off?" Vince asked impatiently. "You haven't told us anything, all you are doing is babbling about waiting for some time so Spinelli doesn't kick your ass."  
  
"Well, as I said, we need an intervention, and this is what I think we need to do." Ashley Q. leaned forward and whispered her plan to them, all of them praying it would work and Spinelli would finally admit she needed help.  
  
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A/N: Who knew Ashley Q. would be so caring? Will the intervention work? Or will Spinelli run away from her problem again? Will Nick Lachey really run for mayor of Cincinnati? Find out next time! Please R/R, but remember the golden rule, if you can't say something nice, don't say it at all! Happy reading! 


	8. A Tragic Twist of Events

A/N: Hi all, here is the next chapter and I hope you are all enjoying this (should I move this to PG13 so you can have better access to it?). So let's begin, shall we? First to the readers:  
  
LilVickiRyan: I know, I'm sleepy too, lol! Thanks for reading and stay tuned for more!!  
  
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Three days later, Spinelli was walking to TJ's house, happy to finally have time to spend with him. They both had hectic schedules, and rarely had time to hang out anymore. She only wished she were feeling better. For the past few days, she was dizzy and tired, and due to her constant starving, binging and purging, even the smell of food got her sick, causing her to throw up more than usual, something that actually in a sense made her happy, because it meant she was losing more weight. As much as she wanted to stop this awful cycle, she just couldn't, she still felt fat and ugly, and not throwing up (or starving) made her feel like a failure. She walked up to TJ's door and rang the bell, hoping to avoid any questioning about why she looked so tired that day. As much as she loved him for his sweet and concerned nature, the last thing she needed at that moment in time was him becoming suspicious of what she was doing. A moment later, TJ answered the door, giving her a smile and a hug.  
  
"Hey, Spinelli," he said cheerfully, taking her coat and hanging it up. "Gosh, she is so thin," he thought, looking her over and recalling the feel of her ribcage from when he had hugged her.  
  
"Hey, Teej, what do you have planned today?" she asked, trying to ignore the look of concern in his eyes.  
  
"Um," TJ stammered as he tried thinking of a believable idea. "I have some new DVDs we can watch, if you are interested. I just got the second Lord of the Rings, and I know how much you love Orlando Bloom, so we can watch that."  
  
"Good plan," Spinelli agreed, following him into the living room, not expecting to see five other people, one of which was one of her worst enemies, sitting there waiting for her.  
  
"What the hell is this?" Spinelli demanded, glaring at them. "Why is Ashley Q. here? You guys all hate each other----wait a minute, you told them didn't you? You lying little bitch!" Spinelli screamed, lunging across the room to hit her, but TJ pulled her back.  
  
"Spinelli, we are all here because you need help. We all noticed your dieting and weight loss, and it is scaring us. We all love you, and none of us want to see you hurt yourself," Gretchen explained, hoping her calm voice would make Spinelli realize her problem. But she couldn't have been more wrong.  
  
"Excuse me?" Spinelli asked, angered by her roommate's accusation. "I do not have a problem, I am fine. So I lost weight, and maybe threw up a few times, but it is nothing serious. I can stop whenever I want. I am not one of these girls you see in those health movies!" Spinelli yelled, outraged.  
  
"But you do," Gus told her. "You are too thin, you constantly disappear after you eat, that is if you eat at all, and you overwork yourself at the gym. You may not see it but we do."  
  
"That is the biggest load of bull I have ever heard!" Spinelli yelled, covering her ears to avoid any more accusations. She felt TJ put his arms around her, but she pulled away.  
  
"I thought you were my friend, Teej," she whispered, hurt creeping into her voice. "But you sneak behind my back, you conspire with this bitch," Spinelli nodded toward Ashley Q. "And you expect me to admit to a problem I don't have just because some powderpuff said so? Is she your girlfriend now, is that it? You are finally getting a girl interested in you, and you make her treat me like a piece of shit?"  
  
"Spinelli, no," Ashley Q. spoke up, but shut up once she got the look of death from Spinelli.  
  
"And you, I told you I had a stomach bug, and you have the nerve to tell my friends I have an eating disorder. After you promise not to mention our conversation to anyone? I should of known not to trust you. You are an Ashley, after all."  
  
"Spinelli, she was only trying to help," Vince informed her. "She was worried, and she came to us so we can-----"  
  
"Save it, I am out of here," Spinelli cried out, spinning on her heel and leaving the living room.  
  
"Spinelli, wait!" Mikey called, but it was too late, Spinelli was already gone.  
  
"Nice job, Ashley Q." Vince snapped. "Now she hates us, and it is all your fault. Do you really get your kicks from hurting others, or are you just a soulless little bitch?"  
  
"No, that was what was supposed to happen, she was going to deny it, and then within time, she will be able to admit it. Denial is the first step in cases like this."  
  
"But she is going to hate us forever," TJ said, sitting on the couch in defeat, feeling horrible about tricking his best friend. "Man, this whomps," he thought. "Spinelli hates us, and you just lost the best friend you ever had."  
  
"She may be angry, but in the end, she will hopefully see what we did as a good thing," Ashley Q. assured them.  
  
"I sure as hell hope you are-----"Vince began, but was interrupted by a loud thud outside the Detweiler home.  
  
"What the—"TJ yelled as the five ran to the front door to see what was going on.  
  
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Spinelli sprinted out of the living room and out the door, her eyes blinded by the tears that filled them. How dare they go behind her back, to an Ashley, no less and accuse her of such terrible things. Spinelli shivered from the cold, realizing she had forgotten her jacket in TJ's house. But there was no way she was going back for it now. TJ and all of them could go screw themselves for all she cared. As she walked down the steps in front of TJ's house, she began to feel very weak and dizzy. She grabbed onto the banister, but it was no use. Before Spinelli could even realize what was happening, she had tripped over the bottom step and collapsed to the ground, causing a loud thud that caused five concerned friends to run outside and rush their sick friend to the hospital.  
  
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A/N, What will happen? Will they get to the hospital on time? Will they be able to finally convince Spinelli she has a problem? Will any of the once popular boy bands ever come out with another hit CD, and will anyone even care? Find out by reading and reviewing and following my ever famous golden rule---if you can't say something nice, don't say it at all-----happy reading!!! 


	9. A Shocking Discovery

A/N: Wow, already chapter 9........this fic is going fast, I feel like I only began yesterday! Well, I hope you all like this and will continue to read it!  
  
LilVickiRyan: Thanks for reviewing and I hope you like this!  
  
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The five friends paced around the hospital room, awaiting word on Spinelli's condition. When they had found her, she was passed out and shaking, and by the time they had gotten her there, they had feared that her life was truly on the line, for the reality of her condition had finally set in.  
  
"You guys think she will be ok?" TJ asked fearfully, his voice choked up as he tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill.  
  
"I don't know," Ashley Q. answered honestly. "I mean, my cousin Elisa went through the same thing, but we caught on to the problem almost a year after it began, and that's how she developed her heart problem. Hopefully we caught it early on enough in Spinelli where we can get her the help she needs."  
  
"I hope you are right, I just wish we had caught into this before hand, I mean, I live with her and I didn't even notice. What kind of friend am I?" Gretchen began to cry quietly in her seat, and Vince came around to put his arms around her.  
  
"Baby, no, it isn't your fault, none of us noticed it, if Ashley Q. hadn't told us, we never would have known until it was too late and then who knows what would have happened?"  
  
"But, we kind of did, when she passed out at the convention," Gus argued. "We should have known then something was up."  
  
"Oh, what to do when our friend's life is on the line!" Mikey exclaimed. "Ohh, a candy machine!" he cried out, running over to examine the contents of the vending machine.  
  
TJ rolled his eyes. "Spinelli is dying, and all that bastard cares about is some freaking vending machine!" he growled, staring daggers at the chubby blonde, who looked like he was in heaven as he stared at the variety of treats in front of him. (OOC, yes, but needed for next chapter)  
  
"Chill, Teej, he is trying to keep his mind off of things, and maybe you should too. The doctor will come out and tell us her condition once he knows it, and I am sure she will be ok." Vince handed TJ a copy of People magazine. "Maybe J.Lo and Marc Anthony's new romance will distract you for a little while."  
  
TJ took the magazine, but couldn't concentrate on it. All he could think about was how he had let his best friend suffer, and now she was probably going to die because he was too blind to notice she needed him. Granted, Spinelli had kept the problem well hidden, but he felt it was sad that he hadn't noticed, yet one of the Ashleys---Spinelli's worst enemies--- had. "If that doesn't make me a bad friend, then I don't know what does," he said to no one in particular as he tossed the magazine aside and got up from his seat. Maybe a walk would do him some good. As he paced around the waiting room, Vince and Gretchen looked at him worriedly.  
  
"He's really taking this hard, isn't he?' Gretchen commented, as they watched their friend stare blankly through one of the room windows.  
  
"Of course, he and Spinelli have been best friends since they were babies, of course he's going to take it hard," Ashley Q. said. "I mean, its almost as if he is losing someone he loves."  
  
"Well he does love her, in a best friend kind of way, but I see what you are saying. Maybe I should talk to him." Vince got up and walked toward TJ, ignoring the girls' protests to let it go.  
  
"Does he realize now is not a good time to talk sense into TJ?" Gus asked, moving next to Gretchen.  
  
"I don't know, but right now, none of us are thinking straight." Gretchen bit her lip and looked around the room, hoping Spinelli's doctor would magically appear and give them some good news. She was just about to go up to the desk and ask for some information when a tall man with sandy colored hair came up to them.  
  
"Hi, I'm Doctor Carter," he introduced himself with a smile. (points to whoever gets who he is!) "Are you folks waiting on the condition of Miss Ashley Spinelli?"  
  
"Yes, how is she?" TJ asked, running up to him, hoping for some good news, which he had a feeling wasn't going to come.  
  
Dr. Carter looked somber as he tried to find a gentle way to break the news to the group.  
  
"Well?" TJ demanded, losing his patience.  
  
"OK, well Miss Spinelli lost consciousness, and is now awake but groggy. Unfortunately, the effects of the eating disorders she is suffering from have caused her body to weaken and lose important nutrients. Although she is awake now, she is still in critical condition. We are hoping that by putting her on an IV filled with nutrients she needs will help save her life." (I forget what it is called) Dr. Carter took a deep breath before continuing. "We are also hoping doing this will save the life of her baby as well, which is why we need to act right away. If we don't we can potentially lose not only her, but her unborn baby as well."  
  
"Oh, my God!" TJ cried, collapsing to the floor in tears. Vince went to comfort him, but something the doctor said was bugging him.  
  
"Hey wait a minute," Vince began, his mind trying to comprehend the words the doctor told them.  
  
"What baby?" Gus finished for him.  
  
"I'm guessing you all didn't know, possibly because Miss Spinelli didn't even know herself. But yes, I am afraid that Miss Spinelli is pregnant."  
  
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A/N: whoa, who was expecting that to happen? Who knew our Spinelli would end up pregnant? Will she and the baby live? Will she make the right choice and get help---and most of all--- WHO'S THE DADDY??? Stay tuned!!! Please r/r, but remember, if you can' t say something nice, don't say it at all! Happy reading! 


	10. Break Down

A/N: short and sweet because I'm sick, tired and have a ton of work to catch up on. OK, here are some notes to my lovely readers:  
  
LilVickiRyan: Maybe------keep reading to find out.......  
  
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"Wait, what did you just say?" TJ asked, standing up and still crying slightly and not quite sure he had heard the doctor correctly. He didn't just say Spinelli was.....did he?  
  
"Miss Spinelli is pregnant. She is about three months along, which is why it is so critical that we get her the nutrients she needs as soon as possible, so the baby has a chance of proper development."  
  
"Thank you Doctor." Gretchen said, shaking his hand. "When will we be able to see her?"  
  
"Technically, she is not allowed visitors yet, since she is in such critical decision, but I can see what I can arrange so you can see her." With that, Doctor Carter walked off to check on his patient.  
  
"Wow, Spinelli's pregnant, what are the odds of that happening?" Vince asked shocked over the news.  
  
"Yeah, I know, I mean I didn't even know Spinelli wasn't, I mean I assumed that she was—well you know," Ashley Q. said, just as surprised as Vince.  
  
"You can say it Ashley Q. you didn't know Spinelli wasn't a virgin, none of us did, we all assumed she was because she wasn't dating anyone or anything." Gus said. "I wonder who the father is. I mean, it is not like Spinelli to just sleep with someone randomly. She always was better than that. I wonder what possessed her to do something like that."  
  
"Well maybe she was dating someone and wanted to keep it private," TJ snapped. "She has the right to a personal life and doesn't have to broadcast to the world that she is with someone, and she certainly doesn't have to announce to you guys or anyone else that she is having sex."  
  
"Teej is right, it is her life and her business, I am just shocked I never picked up on it, I mean we're living together for heavens sakes! I'm sure I would have noticed if she was dating someone!" Gretchen exclaimed as TJ walked over to the candy machine Mikey was still drooling over, who was oblivious to the news and what was going on around him.  
  
"Hmmmm, Winger Dingers, the original kind. I haven't seen those in years. Do I want that, or do I want the new one with the white chocolate swirl?" Mikey drooled as he put his money into the machine. As he pushed the buttons to get his snack, the Winger Dinger got stuck inside the machine.  
  
"Oh, man this whomps!" Mikey cried, attempting to shake the machine to get it out.  
  
"Need help?" TJ asked him from behind.  
  
"Oh, TJ, if you could help me, it would be so wonderful!" Mikey exclaimed happily, avoiding the look of anger in his friend's eyes.  
  
"Stand back." TJ grabbed a nearby fire extinguisher and slammed it into the vending machine, causing glass to fly everywhere. He grabbed the Winger Dinger Mikey wanted and handed it to him.  
  
"Winger Dinger, was it?" he asked in a sweet, polite voice that was on the verge of cracking.  
  
"Oh, yes, TJ, thank you so much!" Mikey smiled, unaware of the mess his friend had just made in his fit of rage.  
  
"Enjoy it, you selfish bastard." TJ growled as he stalked off, leaving a happy and still oblivious Mikey behind and ignoring the glare of the receptionist on duty.  
  
"Whoa, what was that all about?" Ashley Q. asked as she witnessed the scene.  
  
"I have no idea, but he as been a wreck since we got to the hospital. I guess seeing Spinelli suffer is just hard on him," Vince answered uncertainly.  
  
"Probably, and now knowing Spinelli is pregnant probably isn't helping, since it means she is suffering twice as much," Gretchen added.  
  
"I wonder who the father is," Ashley Q. questioned, "I mean, it has to be someone we know, right? She didn't really party or anything, so I am doubting it is anyone from another school. Also when was this baby conceived? It had to be before she began dieting, right?"  
  
"That's what I'm thinking. I wonder if she knew or even suspected anything," Gretchen mused. "Spinelli would never starve herself if she would have known she was pregnant. Maybe she was gaining weight and blamed it on something else, that's the only reason I could think of. As for the father, I have no idea who it could be."  
  
"Guru Kid?" Gus asked. "He was her lab partner after all, so maybe the chemistry lasted outside the classroom."  
  
"Nah, Guru Kid is dating Megan, remember?" Vince said. "I am guessing Hustler Kid, they always got along really well, so maybe something more is going on,"  
  
"No, Hustler Kid may have unconventional ways of making money, but he is very religious, I somehow doubt he is into premarital sex. I think it was Digger Sam, they do work together at the mall." Gretchen mused. "Or maybe it was.............."  
  
"I can't believe you guys!" TJ screamed angrily, causing the four of them to jump.  
  
"What is it TJ? We are only trying to figure out who the father is so we can tell him. After all, he does have the right to know his baby's life is in danger." Gus told him, as if they were really doing something great.  
  
"Well, you are making Spinelli out to be a common slut, which she isn't. How dare you sit here while her life is on the line and talk about her like that? Do you think making a potential fathers list is going to help her right now? Because it won't. My best friend is in there, and she might die, and my main concern is praying she lives, and all you selfish jerks can do is play the 'Lets Guess Who Got Spinelli Knocked Up' game. Why don't you worry less about who the father is and more about if she is even going to live long enough to even realize she is pregnant!" TJ growled. As he wiped away the angry tears forming in his eyes, the others looked at each other in shock. They had never seen TJ blow up like that before, and wondered what was going on with him.  
  
"Whoa, um, Teej, what is wrong with you? We weren't thinking Spinelli was a slut. We were just trying to----"Vince began but was once again cut off by TJ, who grabbed him by the shirt and lifted him out of his seat.  
  
"I don't really care what you were trying to do. If you were a true friend, you would be more worried about the one who is in here because we ignored her eating problem for too long. Maybe think about her for once!" TJ spat out, tossing Vince back on the sofa.  
  
Gretchen stared at her tall, yet slightly stocky friend, wondering what was causing him to fly off the handle. Usually TJ was calm and sweet, but now he was acting like a lunatic.  
  
"TJ, why don't you ask Doctor Carter if there is any way you can see Spinelli." She thought that maybe if he saw that she was going to be ok, it would calm him down a little bit.  
  
"But what if she—and the baby---"TJ stuttered as he once again collapsed into a pile of tears.  
  
"Teej, what is wrong with you? You have been acting like a psycho since we talked to Doctor Carter. If I didn't know any better, I would swear that you were the one fathering Spinelli's baby." Vince put his hand on TJ's arm, which only caused him to cry even harder.  
  
"Oh, my God," Ashley Q. whispered, suddenly catching on. "TJ, it's you,"  
  
"Yes," TJ confirmed through his crying. "I am the father, and it is killing me that I may never get to see this baby, because thanks to me, they both might die!"  
  
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A/N: So TJ is the daddy, although you all knew that. I guess I made it a bit too obvious. Oh well, now what will happen? Will TJ ever get to see his baby? What will the gang's reaction be? Will Spinelli live and realize she is pregnant? Will she even want the baby? Find out next time! R/R, just remember my golden rule while doing so. Happy reading! 


	11. Accidents Will Happen

A/N: Hi, I am Spinelli Woods, Esquire, and I need a Recess 12 step program....but instead I will add another chapter to my fic.....but not before I add my notes to my readers......  
  
LilVickiRyan: You knew because you read my mind, lol! Keep reading!  
  
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"Wait, you're the father, Teej?" Vince asked shocked.  
  
TJ nodded miserably. "Yeah, I am, and I just wish there was something I could do to help save them. I mean, I can't just stand by here and do nothing!"  
  
"Well I am sure Dr. Carter will let you see her as soon as she is allowed visitors," Ashley Q. assured him.  
  
"I hope so," TJ whispered, wanting to see for himself if they were going to be ok.  
  
"OK, so she's pregnant, that's great, I guess, but, um, how did it happen?" Gretchen asked, adjusting her glasses.  
  
Gus rolled his eyes. "For someone so smart, you sure do ask dumb questions," he commented. "Well, since you asked, when a man and a woman love each other very much, they make a responsible decision to----"  
  
"No, no no, I know that, stupid, I meant, when did Spinelli and TJ, well create this baby?" Gretchen snapped, glaring at the blonde boy next to her.  
  
"Oh, well Spinelli wanted to keep this quiet, but I guess now that the cat is out of the bag, I have no choice but to tell you. The truth was bound to come out eventually. Anyway, remember that night in January when you spent the night at Vince's when his parents were away, Gretch?" Gretchen nodded, and TJ continued. "Well, that night I went over to watch movies with Spinelli, like I always did........  
  
**********FLASHBACK************  
  
"My Big Fat Greek Wedding?" TJ asked doubtfully, looking at the DVD Spinelli had chosen.  
  
"Come on, it's funny, and it's not like I am forcing you to watch Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood---again!" she protested, giving him the puppy dog eyes.  
  
"Fine, we can watch it, but then promise me we can watch The Matrix!" TJ relented, unable to resist the cute puppy dog eyes his best friend gave him. He couldn't help but notice how pretty she was at that moment. "Dude, she's your best friend! Just because you love her, doesn't mean she feels the same!" he told himself.  
  
"Deal!" Spinelli declared with a satisfied smile as she put in the DVD. "Damn, he's so sweet, watching chick flicks with me, he would make a great boy---whoa, girl, he's your best friend! Hold your hormones!" she thought, blushing slightly when she noticed TJ smiling at her. She joined him on her bed and leaned on his shoulder as the movie began. Halfway through the movie though, Spinelli began to cry uncontrollably,  
  
"Spin, what's the matter?" TJ asked, putting his arms around her.  
  
"It's just the movie, it reminds me that I will never have a family like that. I mean, I have no family, and watching this makes me feel guilty!"  
  
"Guilty? But Spinelli, you didn't cause the accident, or make your brothers go---"  
  
"No, I mean I feel guilty for always being embarrassed by them. I mean, you remember, how I dreaded Parent's Night because I didn't want you guys to meet them, and then all those times I would avoid going places with them because I didn't want them to embarrass me in public. Now that I lost them, it all seems like no big deal." Spinelli wiped her eyes and looked at TJ. "I am such a bad daughter,"  
  
"Spin, no you aren't, you had no idea this would happen. You can't blame yourself, or feel guilty. They knew how much you loved them, even if you never told them, they knew, I promise you," TJ assured her, pulling her into a hug.  
  
"Thanks, Teej, you always make me feel better," Spinelli smiled, returning the hug. At that moment, they looked up at one another, their faces only inches apart. TJ pushed Spinelli's hair away from her cheek and kissed her softly.  
  
"I'm sorry, Spinelli," he said, quickly breaking apart. "I didn't mean to----"  
  
"Shhh," Spinelli whispered, "You're killing the moment." She pulled him closer to her and kissed him again, slowly laying down on the bed and pulling TJ along with her. As they kissed, they slowly removed their clothes, too caught up in the moment to think of anything but each other and the sudden passion growing between them.  
  
"Are you sure?" TJ asked, looking into her eyes lovingly.  
  
"Yes," Spinelli answered kissing him again.  
  
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"Hey, Teej?" Spinelli asked later that night as they lay in each others arms silently.  
  
"Yeah? You ok?" he responded, kissing her.  
  
"I'm fine, I just want to know---does this mean that, we are like, a couple now, I mean, I know we are best friends, but you know, this isn't exactly something we do. So are we?" she asked him, rolling over to look him in the eyes.  
  
"Spinelli, of course it does. I mean, I wanted to ask you out, but was too chicken, I love you, and I want to be with you, but you know I wasn't just using you, right? I did it because I love you, not for the sake of getting laid. You mean everything to me, and I want to be your boyfriend, if it's ok with you."  
  
"It is, and I love you too. I mean, maybe tonight happened to allow us to finally be a couple, can you just do me one favor though?"  
  
"Anything you want, baby," he told her, pulling her into a hug.  
  
"Can we keep this a secret for awhile? I mean, I am glad we are a couple and all, but I want to keep it quiet for a little while, because I don't want to jinx anything."  
  
"Of course, we can tell everyone when you are ready. Besides, a secret lover, this can be fun," he teased kissing her again as they once again disappeared under the sheets, giggling.  
  
*************END FLASHBACK************** (A/N: the flashback seems a little out there, but I needed something to explain the conception, so I just randomly made something up)  
  
"But I thought, I mean, you didn't tell me you finally....atta boy!" Vince cried, slapping his friend on the back, causing him to get a look of death from TJ.  
  
"I didn't tell you because Spinelli wanted to keep quiet about it, so I respected her wishes!" TJ said, a little annoyed with Vince's locker room attitude.  
  
"But I thought you would at least tell me, your best friend, about your first time! I mean I told you when I lost it, I mean, it's a guy thing, we all tell each other when stuff like this happens!" Vince protested, causing him to get slapped in the head by Gretchen.  
  
"Damn, Vince, can't you keep anything quiet?" she asked angrily.  
  
"Sorry, but it's not like you haven't told Spinelli, and don't deny it, because you can't live in the same house and not tell her."  
  
Gretchen blushed. "OK, so maybe I did mention it to her," she admitted. "But it's not like I was going to cheer her on for doing it! And just for that, you can forget about our little plan for later on tonight!"  
  
"OK, I really don't want to hear about your sex life, you two!" Gus yelled, covering his ears.  
  
"Sorry," Gretchen and Vince said together, both turning the same shade of red as TJ's baseball cap.  
  
"OK, so now you know how it happened, and that we are a couple. We were going to tell you soon, but the time never seemed right. Just keep it on the down low for awhile please, just until I have had the chance to talk things over with Spinelli."  
  
Everyone nodded in agreement. "Oh Love is such a wonderous thing! To bring life into the world through an act of love and intimate companionship!" Mikey cried, finally joining them. (Thank you, OrangeGirlExplosion!)  
  
"Well, well, well, if it isn't Winger Dinger boy, aren't you the least bit concerned about Spinelli?" TJ asked angrily.  
  
"Yeah, she's got eating issues and is pregnant, poor child, I wish you three the very best at this time." Mikey stated as TJ rolled his eyes.  
  
"Yeah, just keep your mouth shut about it, all of you," he snapped, in no mood for Mikey's dramatics.  
  
"We will, Teej, just one thing." Ashley Q. requested, suddenly looking a bit uncomfortable with them.  
  
"What is it Ashley Q?"  
  
"No offense, but haven't you two heard of protection?" Ashley Q. asked him, blushing slightly at the question.  
  
"Well, we assumed that since it was both of our first times, that it couldn't happen. I guess we were wrong. Plus we were too caught up in the moment to think straight," TJ answered her, feeling odd about discussing his sex life (and the consequences of it) with an Ashley.  
  
"Tell that to Shane and Spike," Gus said sarcastically. (Points to whoever gets that!)  
  
TJ was about to ask Gus what he was talking about when Dr, Carter came out again to update them on Spinelli and the baby's conditions.  
  
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A/N: OK, let's hope I don't go to hell for this chapter! I had a hard time writing it, but now we all know how the baby was conceived. So what will the doctor say? Are they OK? Will TJ see Spinelli? Will the Spice Girls ever reunite? (long story) keep reading to find out! Please r/r, but remember my golden rule---happy reading!!! 


	12. Seeing Spinelli

A/N: Yay, chapter 12.....wow I just realized how long this fic is going to be...I'm only about halfway done....but yeah, some notes to my dear readers......  
  
LilVickiRyan: Thanks for reading! Please stay tuned!!  
  
The medical stuff on this might be a bit off, but I am no med student, so I am trying to make it as realistic as possible.  
  
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TJ gulped, preparing himself for the worst, unsure if he could handle any more bad news. First he fought with his girlfriend while trying to help her, then she was rushed to the hospital for an eating disorder he knew he could have helped prevent, and then to top it all off, he discovered he was fathering her child that neither one of them had any idea about, and that both their lives were in danger. "Oh, gosh, please don't let this be bad," he prayed. "Just let them both live."  
  
"How is she doing Doctor?" Gretchen asked, running up to him.  
  
"Well, she is still awake, which is good, and she is in stable condition for now. She is also on an IV, which is giving her and the baby the nutrients they need for now. We aren't out of the woods yet, but as of now, it looks like we might have a chance of saving both Miss Spinelli and the baby. We have to keep her on the IV and eventually get her to eat, and we also have to check the condition and development of the baby."  
  
The five friends looked at each other, unsure of what to think. They were relieved Spinelli's condition was improving, but they were still scared of the chance of losing her and the baby.  
  
"What are her and the baby's odds of living?" Ashley Q. asked, hoping Spinelli (and the baby) would have a chance to live the life her cousin never got to live.  
  
"It's hard to say now, but if we keep at it, the odds are very good that they will both live very healthy and happy lives."  
  
"That's a relief, "Gus said with a smile.  
  
"How long will she have to stay in the hospital?" Vince asked, hoping that this would not prevent Spinelli from graduating in June.  
  
"It's hard to say, usually eating disorder patients are in for at least a month or two, depending on how complex the problem is, and how long they had been suffering. However, in Miss Spinelli's case, she might be in longer, since she is pregnant. It all depends on how fast she is willing to recover. If she cooperates, she could be out in a few weeks, and only need to attend therapy for awhile, but if not, it could be months. She needs to maintain a certain weight before she is even considered to be discharged."  
  
"A few months, but what about graduation?" Mikey asked. "Oh, what a shame if she misses such an important event in her life!"  
  
"We can see if we can work something out with the school," Doctor Carter told them.  
  
"Can we see her?" TJ asked suddenly, speaking for the first time since Doctor Carter's return.  
  
"Well, visiting hours are almost over, and we don't want to overwhelm Miss Spinelli by allowing you all in there. I can allow only one of you to see her for now," Dr. Carter looked at them with his kind blue eyes. "Which one of you is going to go see her?"  
  
The gang looked at each other, silently deciding who would be the one to go in. Ashley Q. touched TJ's shoulder and gently pushed him towards Dr. Carter.  
  
"TJ, you go," she whispered to him. "After all, you are the baby's father, and Spinelli's boyfriend, so it's only fair to let you see her first."  
  
"Are you sure?" TJ asked, even though he was dying to see Spinelli and be with her during her time of need.  
  
"Yes, you of all people should be with her right now," Vince agreed. "We will wait here for you and take you home when you are done visiting her."  
  
"Thanks you guys," TJ said gratefully as he followed Dr. Carter into Spinelli's room.  
  
"She might be a little out of it still, so be patient," Dr. Carter whispered to him as they entered Spinelli's room, where they saw her laying on her bed and watching a rerun of an After school Special. (A/N: Am I the only one that remembers these?) TJ noticed that she was attached to several IVs and machines, which he assumed were supposed to monitor her and feed her and the baby the nutrients they needed.  
  
Dr. Carter walked over to Spinelli's bed to check on her and inform her of TJ's arrival. "Miss Spinelli, there is someone here to see you," he told her gently.  
  
"A visitor?" she asked sleepily, sitting up. "Who is it?"  
  
"Me!" TJ walked over to her bed and gave her a hug, trying not to unplug any of the machines that were attached to her. "Oh, Spinelli, you had me so worried!" he exclaimed.  
  
"Well, I'll leave you two alone," Dr. Carter said with a smile, heading toward the door. "I'll come in and let you know when visiting hours are over," he called.  
  
"Thanks, Dr. Carter," TJ called back as he sat in a chair next to Spinelli's bed. He gently took her hands in his and smiled at her. "How are you feeling, baby?" he asked.  
  
"Oh, Teej," she said quietly, struggling to sit up so she could look him in the eyes. "I am so hoping you are here to bust me out. Please tell me the Prankster Prince has a plan to get me the hell out of this place!"  
  
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A/N: Ehhh, not to happy with this chapter, but it is needed to build up for the next few chapters, which are going to be intense! Please r/r, but remember to keep my golden rule in mind! Happy reading! 


	13. Fighting and a Shocking Confession

A/N: hey all here is another chapter—I hope you all keep reading and fear not, new chapters will be here soon!  
  
LilVickiRyan: I know, let's hope she gets some sense into her! Stay tuned!  
  
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TJ looked at Spinelli, wondering if she was actually serious about what she just said. She couldn't be, could she?  
  
"What do you mean, bust you out of here?" TJ asked, letting go of her hands and gently placing his own hands on her belly. "You need to be here, to get the help you need, before your health gets any worse."  
  
"But Teej, I'm fine, they just think I have a problem because I passed out. I'll just go back to normal and stop throwing up. After all, it can't be that hard to stop, can it?" Spinelli questioned, looking at TJ and expecting him to give in.  
  
"Spinelli, you need to get your nutrients before you can leave. There is no way I am letting you go without getting the help you need. The last thing I want is for you to end up sick again. I love you too much to not let you get help so you can get better." TJ looked into her eyes lovingly and leaned in to kiss her, but Spinelli pushed him away.  
  
"How dare you claim you love me and then turn around and side with those idiots that call themselves doctors who think I'm some psycho who needs help. All I did was go on a diet to lose weight for the prom and you are all acting like I did something wrong! Damn it Teej, girls diet all the time and no one puts them in the hospital! Why are you doing this to me?" Spinelli screamed, outraged.  
  
"Because I love you, Ashley!" TJ screamed back. "I love you so much and it's killing me that you are hurting yourself so much. Can't you see the harm you are doing? You have an eating problem! You have anorexia and bulimia! No diet or amount of weight gain is that important that you need to put yourself in the hospital for it! You are beautiful, and don't need to diet! Why are you putting yourself through this hell? Can't you just look in the mirror and see what a gorgeous person you are?"  
  
"Maybe you see that, but you're probably saying that because I'm your girlfriend, but all I see is fat! Fat that makes me feel like a pig and I need to get rid of it! I need to control my weight before I get fatter!" Spinelli shouted, making TJ more and more frustrated.  
  
"Did you even stop to think about the other lives you might be destroying, not just yours? Is that all you are about, your diet and your appearance?" TJ shot back. "Did you stop to think that the people that love you, and the people you love are being torn apart by this?"  
  
"TJ, I have no one, and now even you are against me! So don't feed me that bullshit that people care, because I really have no one, no family, my friends and my boyfriend that think I'm crazy, so what makes you think I am even hurting anyone?" Spinelli argued, tears forming in her eyes from frustration.  
  
"Well maybe you should think about that baby that you are carrying!" TJ yelled. "The baby we created? The baby that may potentially die if you keep being selfish and ignoring your eating problem and refusing to get help! Do you want that to happen? Do you want something we created out of love to die because you refuse to get help?" TJ was angry now, angry that Spinelli was refusing help, denying her problem, but most of all angry that she was willing to put her life, and the life of their baby on the line just to lose a measly few pounds. Pounds she most likely gained from being pregnant, although she did not realize it at the time. He just wished he could get through to her, make her see what she was doing before she ended up hurting herself and the baby even more than she already had.  
  
"Baby?" Spinelli asked confused. "What baby?"  
  
TJ sighed. "Didn't Dr. Carter tell you? The baby you are carrying, the one you and I created that night, the night we got together! Do you not remember that night we shared? How special it was to us? And now we created a baby, a baby we are responsible for taking care of because at the time we were too caught up in the moment to be responsible and use protection! I want to do the right thing, Spinelli! But you have to quit being selfish and actually try and get better!" TJ hoped that by reminding her of the baby they created and the responsibility they took on by having unprotected sex would snap her out of it, and hopefully make her realize the harm she was doing.  
  
"Yes, Dr, Carter did mention something about a baby," Spinelli said sighing, wishing that Dr. Carter never told TJ. It would have made things so much easier if TJ hadn't known she was pregnant. Then he couldn't make her feel guilty about the decision she was thinking about making.  
  
"And that still doesn't want you to get better? You still can't let yourself get better? Are you really that self-centered and stupid where you would continue to diet just to live up to some unrealistic standard set by society? No one in real life looks like those women in magazines, Spinelli! Why don't you snap out of it and think about someone other than yourself! God damn it, Spinelli!" TJ wiped tears of frustration and sadness from his eyes. Why was the girl he loved so dead set on hurting herself and their child? Didn't she even care what she was doing and the danger she was causing?  
  
Spinelli took a deep breath, trying to find a way to tell TJ what she wanted to do without breaking his heart. As much as she knew she was just as responsible for her pregnancy, she just couldn't handle it. She just couldn't face the fact that she would be gaining more weight, and unable to control it. Plus, how could two seventeen year olds possibly raise a child? She only hoped that he would understand.....  
  
"Um, Teej, about that baby, what if I told you I wasn't ready to raise one and wanted to you know, terminate the pregnancy?" she asked carefully, not noticing that TJ now looked as if he had been punched in the stomach as he tried to comprehend what Spinelli just said.  
  
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A/N: Please don't kill me for bringing up such a controversial topic, but it is needed for the story....anyway, I know they both seem a bit OOC in this chapter, but this is all needed for a decision and event that takes place in the future of this fic.....so please do not get mad at me for it! So what do you think is going to happen? Will Spinelli have the abortion, or will TJ find a way to stop her? Are they ever going to stop fighting? Will Spinelli make an effort to get better? Will we ever find out who let the dogs out? Find out in the next chapter! Please R/R, but keep my golden rule in mind!!! 


	14. Decision Making and Fights

A/N: Hey all! Hope you enjoy this one!  
  
LilVickiRyan: Thanks for reviewing! Keep reading!  
  
Shadw: The latest plotline in those two soaps in interesting, isn't it? I actually missed class the day Paul kidnapped the baby, but shhh! Thanks for your kind words and I hope you keep reading!  
  
This chapter is a bit controversial, so I am sorry in advance if you are offended. Also, they might seem a bit OOC here.  
  
"You WHHHHHAAAAATTTTT?!?!?!?!" TJ screamed, shocking both of them by raising his voice. (a/n: That line has significance to me---part of a puppet show my siblings were in that I made a movie about—but I digress)  
  
"I don't think I can do this," Spinelli said simply, looking down at her hands as if she just announced she was planning on doing something trivial, like selling her car, not making a decision that affected three lives.  
  
"But it's my baby too! We created a child, Spinelli, and you want to get rid of it as if it were some old piece of clothing? Did you even think of how this would affect me, or that I just might want to raise the baby? How could you do this to me?" TJ ranted as he tried his best not to cry. Why was Spinelli considering getting abortion, didn't she even care about how this would affect them? Ever since he found out she was pregnant, TJ was caught up in the idea of the two of them raising the baby together, even though in the back of his mind he knew it was going to be a hard task and that his parents would not be thrilled about being grandparents at their age. He was hoping that the baby would bring the two of them closer together and finally give Spinelli a second chance at having a family, and finally allow Spinelli to recover from her eating disorders. So why was she doing this?  
  
"Because, Teej," Spinelli snapped, as if she were reading his mind. "I will gain weight, get a bad reputation and have to give up college. Not to mention we are young and stupid, how the hell are we going to bring a child into the world. Just because we had one amazing night together doesn't mean we have to have a lifetime reminder of it. If we want a reminder, we can just reenact it." Spinelli was being so snotty and so nasty at that moment that it took everything in TJ's willpower not to smack her at that moment. Even though he swore he would never raise a hand to a girl, he was so tempted at that moment, because he thought that maybe it was what Spinelli needed to snap out of whatever she was in.  
  
"How can you say that? How can you be such a self centered, looks obsessed snob? Do you really care that much about your weight that you would kill? You were the one who was always pro life! It was you who had that protest when they wanted to allow free confidential abortions for teens in the health center! You always said that if you were in the situation we are in now, you would take responsibility for it, not as you say, take the easy way out! Why are you going against everything you believe in, everything you always fought for! Why are you being a goddamn hypocrite?" TJ was enraged now, his eyes practically shooting fire at his girlfriend. He knew he was probably being a jerk, but Spinelli's attitude was so not like her and he hoped by badgering her and keeping on her case, she would finally open up and tell him what was really bothering her. He knew in his heart she really didn't want an abortion, but was using it as a cover for something.  
  
"It's my body, my choice, and I don't even have to tell you what I plan on doing because frankly, it is none of your business. Its my decision and why do I even have to tell you if I want an abortion. I could just get it and we can all live the lives we planned on before we found out I was pregnant!" Spinelli shot back, trying to fight the tears in her eyes. "Don't do this, Spinelli, don't break down now," she thought to herself.  
  
TJ looked at her closely, noticing the tears forming in her eyes. "Maybe I am getting somewhere," he thought. "Maybe she is finally going to break down and tell me what is really going on." He moved onto the edge of her bed, taking her hands into his and looking into her eyes.  
  
"Baby, it is a decision we have to discuss together," he said, using a gentler tone. "I know right now you are probably in shock, but you need to think this through because once you do this, there is no going back. We can't just go back and reverse it. once it's done its done. Plus, in all honesty, you are most likely too weak for any kind of surgery right now. You need to think about that too, since it would put you in more danger. I love you, Spinelli, and the last thing I want is for you to do anything else that can hurt you." TJ smiled at her, noticing the tears that were finally falling from her eyes. He knew he had finally reached her, finally made her realize that the decision was not what she truly wanted. Now if she would only tell him what was really going on.  
  
"Teej," Spinelli whispered, blinking a few times, trying to keep the tears from falling, but was unsuccessful in doing so. "You are right, I know you are, but how can I possibly bring a life into this world that is only going to leave me? Everyone else leaves me, so why should this be any different? Why not take care of it before I only end up getting hurt again?"  
  
A/N whoa, I have no idea where this idea even came from, but it's here! I know they are both very OCC, but it was needed, and you will see why in the next chapter. Please r./r but please keep my golden rule in mind. Happy reading! 


	15. Breaking Down

A/N: Hi! Thanks for those who are reading!  
  
Shadw: Thank you, you are an awesome writer too! I hope you keep reading my stuff!  
  
LilVickiRyan: I shall! Enjoy and keep reading!  
  
"Spinelli, what are you talking about? Dr. Carter said that if you make an effort to get better and follow his orders, you will have a 90% chance of recovery, so why are you saying the baby is going to leave you? And why are you considering terminating your pregnancy if you don't want to be left again? It doesn't make any sense!" TJ said, perplexed.  
  
"Well, what if I did do something to cause the baby to die? What if I lose her? What if she resents me for being a teenage mom who can't give her what the other moms give their kids? What if she-----"Spinelli was cut off by TJ gently placing his finger on her lips.  
  
"Shhhhhh," he whispered, pushing a strand of her hair out of her eyes. "You can't think like that. Our baby is going to love the both of us, and like I said, if you keep following doctor's orders, the baby is going to live a long, healthy happy life. So why are you being so negative?"  
  
"TJ, think about it. After all the shit that has happened to me, why should this be any different? Why shouldn't she leave me like everyone else did? Why don't I take care of things now, before I end up getting hurt again?" Spinelli said again, hoping TJ would understand.  
  
"Um, what do you mean, Spinelli? How is an abortion going to help anything? What is bothering you? And don't say nothing because I know something is. "  
  
"Teej," Spinelli said slowly, as if she were talking to a kindergartener. "My parents are dead, Joey is in jail, Vitto is in Witness Protection, I have no family and probably ruined my relationships with my friends. Everyone I love leaves me, so shouldn't I save myself the pain?" Spinelli blinked, but couldn't help but let the fresh set of tears fall from her eyes, finally letting go of the pain she had harbored since Thanksgiving time. TJ put his arms around her, letting the tears fall from her own eyes.  
  
"Baby, you didn't lose your friends, we did this because we love you and want you to get well. And you have me, and I love you more than anything in the world. That is why it is hurting me so much that you want to do this. "  
  
"You really love me?" Spinelli asked doubtfully, as if she expected him to change his mind or something.  
  
"Yes, Spinelli, I always have and always will. Which is one of the reasons why I want us to keep this baby. It is a symbolism of our love and I think it will bring us together as a family. It will give you the second chance at having the family you always wanted, and with any luck, we can give our child the Big Fat Greek Wedding deal." TJ grinned, hoping to make Spinelli smile.  
  
"TJ, we aren't even Greek!" she reminded him with a laugh. "I'm Italian and you are English and German! I hate to break it to you, but there is no way we are going to raise a Greek child!" (A/N: I have no clue of TJ's real nationality, so I randomly picked two of them)  
  
"I know, but I wanted to see how you would react to raising a child nonetheless. Besides I have a feeling you are doubting having this abortion," TJ looked at her, waiting to see her reaction to his statement.  
  
"Why do you say that?" Spinelli wanted to know. Even though he was right, she had no idea how he could have figured it out.  
  
"Because of something you said," TJ reminded her. "You referred to the baby as a she. If you were truly in favor of this abortion, you wouldn't have done that. You would have referred to the baby as an it or something of that nature. No one who really wants an abortion would say something like that," TJ hugged her close to him, feeling the tears falling from her eyes on his shoulder.  
  
"I don't know what to do though," Spinelli said into his shoulder. "You have this big fantasy of us being the next Ward and June Cleaver, but realistically speaking, we are both seventeen and are only going to be graduating in June. How can we support a baby on only two high school diplomas? I am confused. On one hand, I see your point, but then again, we aren't ready."  
  
"We could put the baby up for adoption, but then we would always wonder what it could have been, just like we would with the abortion," TJ pointed out. "But we aren't going to make a decision tonight. You need to think this through before you make such a life changing decision. However, I think it is a decision we should make together, since this is both our responsibilities. After all, if we are responsible enough to, um, make love, I think we are responsible enough to make a decision on what to do together." (A/N: I sound so preachy! Sorry y'all)  
  
Spinelli was about to speak up when Dr. Carter walked back in.  
  
"Is it time for me to go?" TJ asked, letting go of Spinelli and reaching for his jacket.  
  
"Well, yes, it is almost six, but that's not why I am here," Dr Carter answered. "I am here because I want to talk to Spinelli for a moment. And since you are the father of her baby, you might want to stay for this."  
  
"What is it, Doctor?" Spinelli asked.  
  
"Tomorrow I want to schedule an appointment to check up on the baby to make sure everything is ok. Is three ok for the both of you? I am sure you want to be there, TJ, and I know you have school tomorrow. "  
  
"Three's fine," TJ answered and Spinelli nodded in agreement.  
  
"Great, see you both then. TJ, I'll give you a moment to say goodbye," Dr. Carter smiled as he left the room.  
  
"So tomorrow we get a checkup, let's hope everything is ok with our baby." TJ gently placed his hands on Spinelli's belly and kissed her. "Just promise me you won't make any decisions before we talk again, ok?"  
  
"I won't," Spinelli promised as she briefly kissed him back. "As long as you keep this quiet for awhile, I don't want to tell anyone before we come to a decision, is that ok?"  
  
"It's fine, and it's a good thing too, I am going to have a hell of a time thinking of a way of telling my parents if we do decide to keep the baby," TJ sighed, the reality of the possibility of becoming teen parent finally beginning to set in.  
  
A/N: I know this is a little odd, but this is a lead in for the next chapter where the decision is made. Anyone know what it is? Will they keep the baby, or will she have an abortion? Is the baby going to be ok? Will Spinelli want to recover from her eating disorders for the sake of her baby (and herself)? Find out next time! R/R, but please keep my golden rule in mind as you do so. Happy reading! 


	16. Revelation

A/N: Finally, the reviews are in, and man, I sound like I'm announcing for some big-time movie or something! Well, here I am with your review notes and a new chapter! Enjoy!  
  
LilVickiRyan: Thanks I will try! Keep reading!  
  
Shadw: Will she have a girl, gotta keep reading to find out! Thanks for reading and glad you like this!  
  
The next day came all too soon for TJ and Spinelli, both wondering what the events ahead of them would bring to their lives. TJ was worried that Spinelli would still want to go through with the abortion, but at the same time, he was also worried that she would want to keep their baby and wondered how they would tell his parents, let alone raise a child at their age.  
  
Meanwhile, Spinelli herself was worried about how to handle her pregnancy. She was beginning to have second thoughts about having an abortion, but she wasn't sure if she could handle gaining more weight, because it would mean she had officially lost control of everything in her life. And that was the last thing she wanted to happen. After the recent tragedy she had faced, on top of all the stress of school and teenage life, she felt the need to be in control of something, and she had thought her weight was the only way to do that, and in the end it put not only her life at risk, but the life of her unborn child as well. Not only that, but she had ended up hurting the one person left in the world that truly loved her.  
  
Spinelli sighed as she turned on the TV, flipping to an old Perfect Strangers episode. (A/N: I feel old for remembering these shows, lol) As she watched Balky learning how to drive, her mind wandered to what she would do if she and TJ had decided to raise the baby together. Although money wouldn't be a problem---she had inherited a nice sum of money from her parents' estate, plus everything they had left her in their will—she was still worried that she and TJ were not mentally ready for such responsibility. Sure, they could put the baby up for adoption, but she was afraid that she would end up growing too attached to the baby and wouldn't be able to go through with it. Abortion seemed like the only way out, but wouldn't she wonder what could have been had she kept the baby?  
  
Spinelli looked at the clock next to her bed and closed her eyes briefly. It was ten, and in five hours, she would be seeing the doctor to check on the baby, and would ultimately need to come to a decision on what to do. She only hoped that whatever she decided, TJ would go along with it. She placed her hands on her belly as she continued to watch what she assumed was a Perfect Strangers marathon, since yet another episode was showing, and ironically, this episode was when Mary Anne and Jennifer gave birth in a car and hot air balloon, respectively.  
  
"Man, oh man, imagine if that happens to us, that is if I decide to go through with this," she thought, looking down at her stomach, and for the first time noticing a little bulge starting to grow. She sucked in her breath, debating on whether or not she should force herself to throw up the food the doctors forced her to eat earlier that morning. They had decided that they would slowly introduce food back into her, as well as keep her on the IV to give he the additional nutrients she and the baby needed. As much as the thought of gaining weight scared her, she was beginning to realize that she really did need help and that she wasn't going anywhere until she got it. But would throwing up one last time really kill her? She was about to get up and head for the restroom when she felt something that made her change her mind.  
  
"Oh, wow," she thought placing her hands more firmly onto her stomach. "The baby actually kicked a little! I felt her move!" She smiled to herself as she settled back onto her bed. Maybe it was a sign that she ready to get the help she needed. She wasn't one hundred percent sure as to what she was going to do about the baby, but she knew that no matter what she decided, she had a reason to push herself into recovering from her eating problems. She also knew that she would need an extensive amount of therapy once everything was over, but she knew that she would cross that bridge when she came to it. Right now, all she wanted to do was focus on one thing at a time, and right now she had to focus on trying to recover from the eating disorders that seemed to take over her life. She glanced at the IV attached to her and sighed. She just hoped she was strong enough to handle it.   
  
A/N: I know, it's short, but I am tired and have no energy to think or write that much at the moment, but I promise to try and make the chapters longer, or add more shorter chapters, if that makes any sort of sense. Please r/r, but remember my golden rule as you do so! Thanks and happy reading! 


	17. The Next Day

A/N: Yay, I am almost done with my papers! Only two more to go Thank you for all your reviews, they make me smile and are helping me get through this stressful week. So yeah, this is going to be short, but I am running on very little sleep and feel like I am about to run into a brick wall. But I love you all so I am writing anyway. Some notes to the lovely reviewers:  
  
Shadw: Thank you and I look forward to yours! Keep reading!  
  
LilVickiRyan: I get what ya mean there, lol! Keep reading!   
  
TJ drove down to the hospital, a full two and a half hours earlier than he was supposed to. He had told the school officials that he was feeling sick and was going to the doctor to try and figure out what was wrong. It was technically not a lie, he really was seeing a doctor, but not for him. He just hoped that Spinelli had given some thought to what she wanted to do with the baby and that she made the right one. As much as he wanted the baby, TJ could almost understand why she would want to have an abortion. She was scared, and had gone through more drama in the past several months than most people went through in their lifetime. Being pregnant would only add to the stress, and the fact that she was only seventeen didn't help matters any. But that didn't mean he agreed with the decision. After all, he was partially responsible, since he was the one who impregnated her and was too caught up in a flurry of hormones and passion to even consider the fact that they should have used protection at the time. Not that he carried that stuff around with him anyway---he was the one everyone saw as a brother, not the one people wanted to have sex with--- plus he had always figured that nothing would happen the first time.  
  
"Man, am I stupid!" he thought as he parked his car in the hospital parking lot. As he walked into the building, his mind was spinning with statistics he looked up on the Internet the night before after his parents had gone to bed. He had learned that the odds of teen parents staying together were slim to none, and that even if they did, they usually wound up unhappy. He also discovered that if that kind of situation were to occur, the child would end up suffering the most. (Thank you for those stats, Lockdown) Those statistics put a damper on his fantasy of him and Spinelli raising their baby together, eventually getting married and having the kind of family Spinelli deserved to have, but he was still willing to try and stay with her and help her raise their child the best they possibly could. TJ walked down the hall and into Spinelli's room, where he found her deeply engrossed in one of her soap operas she watched whenever she had the chance.  
  
"Come on, Edmund, you can't have the surgery!" Spinelli yelled at the TV, not noticing TJ's presence.  
  
"So I take it this is the new story line, now that they revealed Bianca killed Michael Cambias, huh?" TJ asked from the doorway, smiling at her.  
  
"TJ! You scared me!" Spinelli gasped as she finally noticed her boyfriend. "And yes it is, come and join me, so I can help you understand the world of soap operas." She patted the space next to her and motioned for TJ to join her. As he settled down next to her, he gently put his arms around her, careful not to unplug her food IV.  
  
"You feeling better today, baby?" TJ asked her as she leaned on his chest.  
  
"A little," Spinelli answered, deciding not to tell TJ about her near relapse and about feeling the baby kick for the first time. She saw no need to worry him, let alone get his hopes up, because she still was confused as to what to do about her current situation. Instead, Spinelli just cuddled with TJ on the bed and watched the TV. She eventually dozed off, leaving TJ unable to move, yet he was happy to be so close to her. He turned his head carefully checked the clock and noticed that they were meeting with Dr. Carter in about a half an hour. Smiling down at his sleeping girlfriend, he gently shook her shoulder, knowing that it would be awhile before she woke up and acted like a coherent human being.  
  
"Spin, baby, it's almost time to meet with Dr. Carter," he whispered in her ear.  
  
"But why are we meeting him?" she mumbled drowsily, moving closer to him.  
  
"We need to check on the health of the baby," he reminded her. "He is going to tell us that the baby is going to be ok, and live a long, healthy life. He is going to help us have a chance at being a happy family together, all three of us!" TJ gently traced his finger around Spinelli's belly, smiling at the thought of the life they had created together—a life that was living inside someone who was too scared to let it live---or so he thought. He wanted to ask her if she had given any thought to what she wanted to do, but now was not the time. Not when Spinelli was tired and still semi-out of it. He figured he would bring it up when the visit with Dr. Carter was over, hoping that some good news from the doctor would help her make the right decision.  
  
"Oh, yeah," Spinelli said sleepily, struggling to sit up. TJ couldn't tell, but it looked as if she was smiling at the thought of the baby. Was it a sign that she made her decision? TJ hoped it would be one he wanted to hear, but didn't want to get his hopes up until they talked.  
  
"Let's hope it goes well," TJ told her, kissing her. to his surprise, she had kissed him back, and they were so into each other that neither one noticed Dr. Carter walk into the room until he cleared his throat.  
  
"You guys, I know you are together and love each other, but that kind of behavior is kind of what got you here in the first place," he teased, causing the two teens to blush like mad.  
  
"Sorry, Dr. Carter," the both stuttered, trying to avoid any further embarrassment.  
  
"It's ok, I was young once too," he reminded them with a smile. "Anyway, I am here because it is time for Miss Spinelli's appointment."  
  
A/N: that chapter kind of whomped, but I am beyond exhausted and stressed out right now, so I did the best I could. What do you think will happen next? What will Spinelli's decision be? Find out next time! Please r/r, but keep my golden rule in mind as you do so! Happy reading! 


	18. Making a Decision

A/N: Hi all! Hope you all enjoyed your weekend! For your reading pleasure, I decided to add a new chapter to my story-----one that is another filler, but hopefully you will like. This story will be done soon, I hope, (I keep thinking of new ideas) and then it is time to move on to a new fic---one you all get to choose! Just look at my profile and let me know which one you want in a review, and I will use the one with the most votes! Anyhow, some notes to the lovely readers!  
  
Shadw: Thanks for reviewing this, and yes I love my soaps, I grew up on them, especially, All My Children, Dallas and Dynasty, which explains a lot about my fics! Thanks again and keep reading!  
  
Dr. Carter smiled at the couple, even though he was embarrassed to have caught them in such a compromising position. It wasn't like he hadn't seen something like that before, but it still made him feel uncomfortable nonetheless. "Are you two ready for the appointment?" he asked, hoping to avoid any further embarrassment.  
  
"Yeah, sure," TJ said quickly, his face finally returning to normal color. "Spinelli, are you ready?" he asked, helping her sit up.  
  
"Yeah, sure let's get this over with," Spinelli sighed, just wanting to get the stupid appointment over with so she can finally get on with her life. She was still confused over what to do, and hoped that the appointment would help her come to a decision that would make both her and TJ happy. She felt TJ put his arm around her as he and Dr. Carter helped her into her wheelchair and took her down to the maternity ward. She smiled up at him as Dr. Carter wheeled her to her exam room, with TJ holding onto her the entire way. She felt so lucky that he loved her so much and felt guilty that she had hurt him so much over the past couple of days. But if he only knew what was going on inside her mind, why she had turned to her eating disorders instead of him, then maybe he would be able to understand her behavior. She knew it was probably no excuse, but she hoped that one day she would be able to tell him and hoped that he would forgive her and help her overcome the feelings of anger and guilt that ultimately led her to such destructive behavior.  
  
"OK, Miss Spinelli, I am going to put this jelly stuff on your belly—its going to be a bit cold—but it will help us see the baby's development and check on the health of the baby. Are you ready?" Dr. Carter asked her, interrupting her thoughts.  
  
"Yes, yes I am," she said quickly, trying to push her thoughts to the back of her mind and concentrate on what was going on.  
  
"OK, good, no go put on this gown and then we can begin," Dr. Carter handed her a hospital gown and showed Spinelli where to go change. (A/N: I have never been pregnant so I have no clue how this works, so I am making it up as I go along!)  
  
Five minutes later, Spinelli was lying on her back, hooked to a machine that showed the baby growing inside her on a little monitor. She looked over at TJ, who seemed in awe as Dr. Carter moved the machine wand across her belly to show the baby in different positions.  
  
"Can you tell us what we are having?" TJ asked, his voice slightly choked up as he thought of the little life growing inside his girlfriend. He blinked a few times, letting a couple of tears drop from his eyes. "Man, I'm turning into Mikey," he thought. "Next thing you know, I'll be speaking poetically and dancing around the room!" He laughed slightly at the thought, causing Spinelli to give him a strange look.  
  
"Well, it is a bit early to tell, but by the next visit, we will be able to let you know if you want to." Dr. Carter moved the machine around a bit more. "As for the health of the baby, it is a bit weak, due to Miss Spinelli's lack of nutrients, but if she keeps up and sticks to the special diet her nutritionist will give her, as well as stays on the prenatal medication we will put her on, I see no reason in the world your child will be carried to full term. Just keep on mind that due to the eating disorders causing strain to Miss Spinelli's body, there is a chance of complication, so we are going to have to monitor this pregnancy closely as a precaution." Dr. Carter switched another button on the machine. "Now, although I can't let you know what you are having yet, would you settle for listening to your baby's heartbeat?"  
  
"Sure," TJ said happily, putting on the headphones Dr. Cater handed him. He smiled as he watched the baby move on the monitor, listening to the little heart beating. "Spin, listen, it's our baby!" he cried out, putting the headphones on her head.  
  
Spinelli took the headphones cautiously, taking in the sound coming from the little life growing inside her. She smiled as she felt TJ take her hand and watched the monitor. How could she have ever----She took of the headphones and turned to TJ, her eyes filled with tears. She finally knew what to do and hoped that TJ would keep his promise and support her decision.  
  
"Teej, I came to a decision on what to do about the baby," she informed him, knowing in her heart that she was making the right choice, despite the fact that it would impact the lives of those around her more than she would ever know.  
  
A/N: another sucky short filler chapter with a cliffie! Please don't kill me!! I have an idea of where I am taking this, and chapters like this are necessary. So what did Spinelli decide? How will TJ react? Find out next time! R/R, but please keep my golden rule in mind! Thanks for reading!  
  
Random advice for the day: never fly naked while naked! (from some drunk guy that called my dorm room at 3 am once) 


	19. Facing Reality

A/N: Hello again to all my friends! I hope you are enjoying this fic! But I'm happy, not only because I am giving you two chapters in one day and I am going home tomorrow for the summer, but because I just saved 15% on car insurance by switching to Geico. Well, not really, but I am happy about everything nonetheless!!!! Enjoy it!!!!  
  
TJ sucked in his breath preparing for the worst. He couldn't believe Spinelli would be so heartless and want to terminate her pregnancy, especially after they had seen the baby and heard the heart beating, something that made TJ want to be a father to the baby more than ever. So why was she.......?  
  
"...........keep the baby," Spinelli was saying with a smile, taking TJ's hands again and looking into his eyes. TJ shook his head. Was it his imagination, or had Spinelli just said the words he had been hoping to hear since he had found out about her pregnancy?  
  
"What did you say, Spinelli?' he asked, wanting to make sure it wasn't just another fantasy of his.  
  
"I said I want to keep the baby. It is going to be hard, but I really think that if we try we can raise this baby and give him or her the life they deserve." Spinelli wiped her eyes, trying to keep from crying, but it was no use. The tears freely flowed from her eyes, not only because she had made the most difficult decision of her life that would change her and TJ forever, but because of all the hormones running rampid throughout her body. She looked up and saw that TJ was crying as well.  
  
"Oh, Spinelli," he choked out, not even bothering to hide the fact that he was crying. "You have no idea how happy you have just made me, and I promise you that I will be there for you every step of the way. I won't be one of these guys who will ditch you when it gets tough. I love you too much to do that. Oh, my gosh, wow, I'm going to be a father!" TJ hugged Spinelli and for a couple of minutes the couple just held each other, crying tears of happiness, the reality of being a teenage parent not quite sinking in yet.  
  
"OK, now that you have made your decision, we can take the next steps in getting you two better," Dr Carter told Spinelli once she and TJ broke apart. "You will need prenatal vitamins, a strict diet to give you your strength back, monthly OB/GYN appointments, and I suggest you meet with our counselor who not only specializes in eating disorders, but works in the field of crisis as well. She will help you get through this and be there for you, because considering everything you have been through and are going through now, it is a good idea that you talk to someone." Spinelli nodded, knowing that he was right---maybe the counselor would also be able to help her get through the guilt she had been feeling that had been a factor in leading to her destructive behavior. Dr. Carter arranged for her to meet her counselor, Paige, the next day, and told her that her nutritionist would be able to meet with her later that evening. Even though Spinelli still was scared about eating and gaining weight, she knew it was a fear she had to get over, since she was now eating for two.  
  
Ten minutes later, she was back in her hospital room, with TJ still by her side, touching her stomach and talking softly to the baby—or more specifically, to her stomach. She smiled at the scene, fantasizing about trips to the park, sporting events, school plays, graduations, visits to see the grandparents......Grandparents. It hadn't even occurred to her that they were going to have to tell the Detweilers about her pregnancy. She had no idea how they were going to react, but if it was anything like how she imagined her parents would have reacted, she and TJ were in for a lot of trouble.  
  
"Hey, Teej?' she called to him, looking down and seeing him still talking to her stomach.  
  
"Yes, Spinelli?" he called back, smiling. "I think I just felt the baby kick!" He took her hand and put it over her stomach. "I think if this keeps up, we might just have the next Jackie Chan or Mia Hamm for a child!" he joked. "Now what were you saying?' he asked, finally coming back down to earth.  
  
"Well, I was just thinking, as great as it is that we are having this baby, despite everything else, but how exactly are we going to tell your parents?" she asked, noticing the smile fade from TJ's face as the reality of their situation finally sank in.  
  
A/N: Hmmmm, will TJ tell his parents right away, or will he wait until the baby is born? What will happen when he goes to school? Will his classmates find out? Will Spinelli relapse? Find out by tuning in next time! Please r/r and remember my golden rule! Happy reading! Sorry it was so short—I will try to make the next ones longer!  
  
Random quote of the day: Because life is an ugly, awful place to not have a best friend. --Someone Like You, Sarah Dessen 


	20. Troubled Days Ahead

A/N: Hi all! I feel like I abandoned this story forever, but I have had major writers block on it, but believe it or not, there isn't that much left, I'd say about another 6-10 chapters. But anyway, after some notes, I'll finally fill you in with another chapter after making you wait millions of years!

LilVickiRyan: I know the feeling, lol! Enjoy this one!

Joy: No! she's gonna get me!!! ::runs and hides:: anyway, enjoy this!!

BekllOBella: Thanks, glad you like it, stay tuned!

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Several weeks had passed, and Spinelli continued with her therapy with Paige and Dr. Carter and she was slowly beginning to eat normally again and before long gained back ten pounds. She felt as if she was ready to go home and just go to outpatient therapy, but Dr. Carter insisted she stay for an extra couple of weeks since she was pregnant.

Pregnant. Saying that word and knowing that she was with child took Spinelli some getting used to. Sure TJ was there for her, but she still felt a bit uncomfortable with the situation, knowing her parents were probably turning in their graves knowing their little 'Pookie' had gotten herself knocked up out of wedlock. Her parents had been very religious, and to them, premarital sex was shameful. As it was, TJ had yet to tell his own parents that he was fathering Spinelli's baby. She knew he had to do it eventually, but she also knew TJ was going through some family problems of his own and didn't exactly want to bother his mother with his news. Goodness knows, Mrs. Detweiler had certainly suffered enough over the years between her divorce, remarriage and losing her only daughter to the evils of drugs and drinking. The last thing she needed at that point was knowing her son was about to make her a grandmother. Spinelli settled back on the bed, eating the turkey sandwich the nurse had given her. It wasn't the greatest food on earth, but Spinelli knew she had to eat it in order to keep her strength up. As she ate, her mind wandered as she thought about what the future was going to bring and how her life was going to change. She knew college was no longer an option, even though she had plans to become a teacher and most of her time would be devoted to the baby. But how were her and TJ going to raise enough money to take care of the baby properly?

"Speaking of raising kids, what in the world are we going to name you?" Spinelli said to herself staring at the slight bulge around her middle. Even though she was almost five months pregnant at that point, she was still a bit underweight due to the anorexia and bulimia and she constantly worried if the baby would survive the damage she caused unintentionally.

"Hmm, Sage is a pretty name,' Spinelli whispered, looking at the TV and noticing a character with that name. "Sage Marie. Sage Spinelli-Detweiler. Sage Detweiler. Sage Marie Detweiler." She tossed around different combinations of the name, but none of them appealed to her. Besides, she and TJ still never discussed what last name the baby was going to have. She decided to wait and see what TJ thought about it before they began thinking of first names.

Speaking of TJ, he was over an hour late getting to the hospital. Usually he was there on time, if not early to see her and check up on how mother and baby were doing. "Maybe he got stuck in traffic?" Spinelli thought. She was about to call his cell phone when Vince came running into the room, out of breath.

"Vince? Are you ok?" she asked, looking at her friend with concern.

"Teej---he---hurt----parents" Vince tried to catch his breath and fill Spinelli in on what had just gone down in Washington High, but he was too out of breath to make any sense.

"Vince you aren't making any sense," Spinelli informed him. "Now what is going on?"

"It's TJ," Vince finally managed to say. "He is in trouble. And the outcome doesn't look good."

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A/N: dun dun dun! Wonder what happened? Gotta keep reading to find out! Send soul hugs for more information on this development! Sorry so short, i'm uber tired! 


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